My Best Friend Went Down On Me On A Girls’ Night Out & It Didn’t Ruin Our Friendship

Girls’ night is a must for me—there are few things I love more than getting together with my best friend dishing about our latest relationship dramas while eating an insane amount of tacos. However, this particular night was unlike any other. Our weekly ritual of face masks and Gossip Girl turned into the infamous bedroom scene from Black Swan.

  1. Tequila was definitely involved. The night started off just like any other. It was the end to an unusually stressful work week and my best friend and I decided to ditch the wine and go for something a bit more potent. At about four shots and two mixed drinks in, things started to get interesting…
  2. The foreplay was probably the best part. A long gaze turned into a gentle touch, which led to a light peck, and then boom! Full-blown making out. The most intimate thing I’ve ever done with my best friend was probably a drunken birthday kiss, so this was not the norm for our relationship. Her hands went to all the right places and my body responded willingly. Why was she so good at this? I mean, she’s my best friend, so I knew she’d never done anything like this before (I think?) but she was such a natural.
  3. It felt totally natural and unforced. We didn’t talk about it, we just went for it. Our body language was speaking volumes, so I knew this was something we both wanted to do. My first sexual experience with a girl was about to happen and it felt like I was about to go on a shopping spree—I was just that excited. Everything about it was just right. Before I knew it, we were both fully undressed and groping like teenagers.
  4. She was better than any other guy I’ve been with. Guys, please take notes. It’s not a sprint but a marathon. Take your time and really appreciate the beautiful flower in front of your face. Most guys tend to fall short in this department because there’s no dedication. You have to commit to the act at hand while also paying extra close attention to detail. When her lips met my other lips, I knew there was no going back. Her execution was gentle but still so commanding.
  5. When it was my turn to return the favor, I didn’t hesitate. I dived in head first, literally. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to deliver what I’d just received, but I’m no quitter. I was shocked at how fluid all my movements were. We were in sync with one another and it all just flowed. I didn’t feel nervous about whether I was doing a good job or not because her moans told me all I needed to know.
  6. I felt more in touch with myself. Maybe it was the tequila working its magic, but a dormant place had been awakened inside of me and it was singing. I’m usually not that comfortable with letting it all hang out, but none of that mattered. Our two bodies were coming together and it felt totally empowering. Despite having unshaven legs, chipping toenail polish, and hair all over the place, I felt sexier than ever before.
  7. It was so good, we went back for round two. The first time was amazing, but we didn’t consider it a mistake or anything to be embarrassed about. A few more shots re-warmed our bodies and got those juices back flowing. This time around, things were a little more calculated but still fulfilling. I think we both knew this probably wouldn’t happen again, so why not make the most of it?
  8. I slept like a baby. I even remembered what my dream was about—that never happens! Despite what had occurred, there were no anxious thoughts trying to keep me awake and no signs of regret attempting to settle in. I’m no stranger to making terrible decisions when too much liquor starts flowing, but this wasn’t the case. I did start to feel a hangover trying to creep in, so I popped two ibuprofen and was out almost instantly.
  9. The next morning, we talked briefly about what happened over breakfast. It was like talking about the weather, so nonchalant and casual. We were still somewhat in disbelief about what happened the night before but in no way was the conversation awkward. Really, there was nothing to feel awkward about. I complimented her tongue thrusting, she made a comment about my tongue ring, and we raved about how good the pancakes were all in the same breath.
  10. We’re even better friends now. I’m not sure if it’s because we share something together that none of our other friends do or if it’s because we know what each other taste like. She’s always been someone I could tell my deepest darkest secrets to and now we had one of our own together. Bodily fluids were exchanged—how could we not become better friends? Although we’re nowhere near ashamed of what happened, we prefer to keep it between the two of us. It’s better that way.

Why I don’t recommend you go there with your friend

The fact that my friend went down on me and we actually survived the experience with our friendship intact doesn’t mean I recommend you try the same thing. Here’s why.

  1. Most friendships really won’t make it. The fact that my friend and I are still close is a rarity. The conventional wisdom is always that you should never cross the boundary into the bedroom with your friend if you actually want to stay friends and despite my experience to the contrary, to be honest, I kind of agree. I was the lucky one but I don’t think most other people would be so fortunate.
  2. We had pent-up sexual tension anyway. My friend went down on me because we had a vaguely flirty relationship previously anyway. While we weren’t crushing on each other hard enough to want a relationship or anything, we were curious about one another sexually and took whatever opportunity we could get to pursue that. In other words, it didn’t really come out of nowhere.
  3. We’re both confident in our sexuality. There was never going to be any drama afterward of us worrying what our hookup meant and if we’re lesbians now or whatever. Me and my friend are both pretty confident in our sexuality and how fluid it is. For others, this kind of experience might be pretty intense and confusing, but not for us.
  4. We’re laid-back about sex and don’t take it too seriously. Neither of us believes that we should only sleep with someone we’re deeply in love with or anything. We’re totally into casual experiences and can take them for what they are without thinking too deeply about it.
  5. Things can get messy really quickly. If you’re not prepared for something like this, sleeping with your friend can cause some really big problems. Not only could you lose a friendship but there could be other unforeseen circumstances you may not be prepared for. That’s why I’d advise people not to go there even though it was such a great experience for me.

Ty Martin is a freelance writer specializing in women's health and relationships. She has written alongside many doctoral students during her undergraduate career, assisting in editing and research. Although she grew up in a small town just outside of Chicago, she's obsessed with everything New York and plans on living there one day soon.