Getting off is no easy feat—it’s been reported that roughly 20% of women seldom or never have orgasms and 5% will never experience one in their lifetimes. I was positive I’d fall into this category as well until one flick of a switch changed everything.
I’d almost get there and then it would just… stop. At least I think I was close! Whenever I had sex, it was always enjoyable but it also always felt like something was missing. Comparing sexcapades to my friends only confirmed that. It would feel like I was just on the brink of something big and then… nothing! My body would fall short each time.
It definitely wasn’t my partner’s fault. He could tell that something was off and his persistence in trying to get me to climax showed how dedicated he was to pleasing me. After so many failed attempts, I just knew I had to be the problem and couldn’t help but feel guilty about making him feel inadequate. I enjoyed sex, sure, but at the same time, I was chasing that last little bit.
I got into a routine. It was OK for the most part. Since I knew that I was missing out on a huge part of sex, things became routine and kind of boring. There were no over-the-top romantic gestures, we stuck with the same few positions, and I could tell it was starting to get boring for my partner as well. I didn’t want to be one of those girls that faked an orgasm for an ego stroke, so I just stayed neutral.
We tried plenty of foreplay but even that didn’t work. After doing research, it was clear that women’s bodies operate very differently from men’s. It’s not easy for a woman to reach an orgasm with penetration alone. Foreplay played a huge role in attempting to get me to the finish line, but just on its own, it didn’t work. I tried things I never would’ve in the past in efforts to claim a prize I didn’t even know I needed.
A drunken night turned things around. It was so unexpected! After a few too many drinks at my favorite bar, a rushed entrance into our apartment got things going a lot quicker than usual. At this point, I wasn’t even thinking about whether or not the lights were on or even if my shoes were still on.
At first, I didn’t realize what happened. Things were going really well, and then out of nowhere I felt something I’ve never experienced before. It was at the pit of my stomach and growing. The tequila shots had me in a relaxed state as is, so I just let my body do its thing. Afterward, I knew exactly what happened and I couldn’t believe it.
After that one orgasm, I just couldn’t get there again. We fell straight back into the old, unfulfilling routine. Ugh. After experiencing that first rush, I knew I couldn’t let the feeling go. Although we were unsuccessful, we were optimistic. It happened once before, so all we needed was to do it again. Simple, right?
I couldn’t figure out what made things so different. Was it the tequila? The fact I had my shoes on? The fact we were in the living room? I had no idea what helped me get off, but I was determined to get to the bottom of it. Each night, I experimented with all the factors that made up our glorious night. The tequila alone didn’t do it, nor did the shoes. It came down to one last thing.
A night of Netflix and chill confirmed everything. Casual Netflix binging transitioned to a typical make-out session. With no time to get up and turn off the lights or TV, we just got straight to it. It was at that moment I knew what needed to be done in order to have the perfect nightcap each time. For some reason, having sex with the lights on was essential to my body reaching its peak. I couldn’t believe something so simple was so effective!
It works every time. Leaving the lights on literally turned a switch on. Sex has never been so carefree and pleasurable—and it gets better each time. I know something like this won’t work for every woman experiencing similar difficulties, but it doesn’t hurt to try different things and see what works for your body. I’m now a firm believer that any woman wanting to experience a rush they’ve never felt before actually can. Take your time and hold on tight.
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