Men are having more orgasms than women across the board. This disparity is what’s known as the orgasm gap, and it’s time to change things. Here are 11 things you need to know about this annoying and misogynistic trend.
Most men have orgasms every time they have sex.
This might seem pretty obvious, but it’s interesting because of how women fare in comparison. Although a YouGov survey found that 53% of men have an orgasm every single time they have sex, only 25% of women could say the same thing. That difference is huge. (By the way, is it just me who thought that the number for both would be higher?)
The gap increases in casual relationships.
Interestingly, the orgasm gap is even larger when it comes to casual sex and hookups. A study that was published in The American Sociological Review found that conditions necessary for a woman to achieve orgasm are more likely to be present in relationships instead of hookups. The first thing that comes to mind?Communication! Sex does begin in the brain, after all.
The stats are insane.
So, how much more regularly do women in committed relationships reach orgasm when compared to women who have casual sex? Well, a lot. Women orgasm up to 86% of the time when they’re in committed relationships with men, while women who have casual sex only get to experience the “big O” 39% of the time.
It’s easier for women to go solo.
It’s sad but true: women have orgasms more regularly and achieve them faster when they masturbate instead of when they’re with a male partner, as reported by The Social Organization of Sexuality.
Bisexual and lesbian women close the gap.
Interestingly, women who have sex with other women have more frequent orgasms than women who are having sex with men. Hmm. What does this say about the way women interact versus how men and women interact? Men can learn a lot from bisexual and lesbian women!
The problem goes back to history.
As women, it’s not always easy to speak up about what we want in bed and to embrace sexual pleasure as much as men do. This is because we’ve been trained to think of our sexuality as shameful, whereas male pleasure has been acceptable and encouraged for ages. It’s sad that these views are still lingering in society today. SMH.
We’re not all about the penis.
For straight women, another issue crops up that can be to blame for the orgasm gap. Fact: It’s much harder for many women to reach climax from penetration alone. We need more types of stimulation, and if we’re with male partners who just don’t understand this or can’t be bothered to get it, it can lead to fewer orgasms on our part. In fact, roughly 75% of women never experience an orgasm from intercourse alone. As in, NEVER.
We need to communicate more.
It makes sense that the orgasm gap closes when it comes to committed relationships because in those settings it’s probably easier to chat about what we want in the sack with our partners, much more so than the thought of opening up such a conversation with someone we’re having a hookup session with and never seeing again. But it’s still difficult to say what we want and to tell our partner that he’s not hitting the right spots. In fact, it might even be more difficult because we are so close to him.
We need to choose clued-in partners.
While telling our partner what we need in the sack is really a good thing, it also helps loads if they know about female genitalia, like where the clitoris is and how to find the G-spot without needing us to draw him a map. This can go a long way to making sex feel much more pleasurable for us and increasing our orgasm potential.
Men should want to pleasure us.
It’s not just we who should be chasing our own sexual pleasure. We should be with men who want to see us feel pleasure! If our orgasms are just as important to us as they are to men, we can’t go wrong. We’ll be able to feel much more satisfied, and that bedroom satisfaction can only do good things in the rest of our relationship.
We need to stop being silent.
Whether we’re interested in casual or committed relationships, the most important thing is to take control of our own sexual pleasure. That means, we need to stop being so damn polite and prioritizing men’s sexual pleasure and orgasms over our own. It’s time to realize that our sexual pleasure matters just as much as our partners’. Instead of feeling embarrassed about what we want, we should embrace it. Remember, for example, that the only purpose the clitoris has is to give us pleasure. It serves no other purpose, and it’s a damn good one. Why waste it?
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