You’re not in high school anymore. You certainly don’t need any added drama in your life, especially not when it comes to dating. You’re not about to entertain a guy who’s wasting your time rather than being upfront and honest about his intentions with you. Is he guilty of this behavior? Look for these signs he’s playing mind games so you can get out ASAP.
- He never makes concrete plans. If a guy’s really into you, he doesn’t wait long before setting the next date. If he really sees potential there, why the hesitation? Why would he say goodnight after a great date and then wait to call you and set up future plans? How does he know that you won’t get asked out by someone the very next day? If he doesn’t make future plans with you and is vague about your next date, he may be playing mind games with you. You need to set him straight.
- He isn’t direct about his feelings for you. Much like making regular plans, a guy who likes you is upfront and honest with you about his feelings. He doesn’t leave you guessing because again, why would he want to risk losing you to someone else? Guys who like to play mind games might leave you feeling unsure about their feelings because it makes them feel like they have all the power. Boy, bye!
- He’s always leaving you on read. We’ve all been left on read at some point and it never feels good. Don’t fall for the typical “I got busy” excuse. That’s not why it took him seven hours to respond with a one-word reply. How hard is it to send a text? If he wants to, he can respond. Guys that don’t reach out or respond in a realistic manner are not worth the headache.
- He regularly talks about other women. If he constantly talks about other women, whether they’re his ex-girlfriends, his coworkers, or friends, he may just be playing another mind game with you. If he compliments other women, comparing you to anyone he’s dated before, or even just bringing other women up in regular conversation, it’s likely a tactic to make you jealous. He may think that if he constantly brings up other women, you’ll be desperate for his attention, thus giving him more power. This behavior is totally wrong and unacceptable. A good guy doesn’t feel the need to make you jealous. He certainly won’t bring other women up around you! Move on!
- He’s constantly changing plans or bailing. If you’re lucky enough to actually get him to set an official date, he might cancel last minute or even worse, stand you up. Whether these things are intentional or not is beside the point. Even if he has what he thinks is a legitimate reason for breaking your plans at the last second, barring certain rare emergencies, it’s just not okay! He should never blow you off for someone or something else if he’s already committed to a day and time with you. You’re not asking him to give up everything to be with you. You’re just asking him to stick to his word! If he can’t do that, it’s time to say goodbye to him.
- He’s unapologetic when he’s in the wrong. The guy who plays mind games is typically one who never thinks he’s in the wrong. Maybe he blew you off, disregarded your feelings, or said something offensive. Either way, he doesn’t even notice that he’s hurt you. When he does notice, he doesn’t care. You deserve so much better than a guy who doesn’t consider your feelings in the things he says and does. Guys who play mind games can often build a wall between themselves and the people they date. That’s because they’re afraid of commitment. Someone who plays around and doesn’t care about hurting your feelings because he’s scared to get close to you is not someone you have a future with.
- He’s involved with other women. I know this one is pretty obvious, but still. It’s completely wrong it is for the guy you’re seeing to be having flings with other girls. It doesn’t matter if you just started seeing each other or have only been on a couple of dates. If he claims that he wants to get to know you, he shouldn’t be spending time hanging out with or talking with other girls. That is, unless the two of you have made it clear that you’re both looking for an open relationship. If he’s trying to date multiple girls at once, he’s nothing but games.
- He tries to damage your confidence. Guys who play mind games are notorious for trying to keep their partners vulnerable. It gives them more power and makes them think that you’ll never leave them if you have low self-esteem. If he talks down to you, makes fun of you, or just makes you feel bad about yourself in general, run. He’s most likely just playing mind games in order to keep you down. Kick him to the curb and go find a man who will build you up, not tear you down.
- He tries to blame you when you call him out. If you try to hold him accountable for his issues and he proceeds to make it seem like you’re the one at fault, don’t walk, RUN from him. He is a master of mind games and you need to remove yourself from that relationship immediately. Your feelings will be valid to the guy who’s good enough for you. You won’t have to put up with any of the mind games. And if you ever find yourself doubting your relationship or his feelings, he listens to you and he does what needs to be done in order for your relationship to be happier.
- You never know where you stand with him. One second he’s all over you, texting you every five minutes, holding your hand, wanting to be close to you. The next, you don’t hear from him for days on end and when you do, he acts like he really can’t be bothered. You’re constantly walking on eggshells because you never know what you’re going to get from him, and that’s a major sign he’s playing mind games.
- He’s always bailing on your plans. When you ask him if he wants to hang out on Friday, he’s all for it… until Friday comes and suddenly something comes up. Or, maybe he’s the one who invites you out to dinner or to see a movie, only to cancel last minute with only a vague explanation for why. If he really liked you, he’d make sure he saw you no matter how hectic his life is.
- He lacks consistency. Part of the reason you never know where you stand with him, as mentioned above, is that he’s so inconsistent. He’s either full-on or puts in zero effort and there’s no in-between. You would expect this kind of wishy-washy behavior from a teenager, but not from a grown man. It’s a clear sign he’s playing mind games with you.
- You’re more of an option than a priority. You don’t expect to be this guy’s entire world because he’s certainly not yours. However, how are you meant to build a lasting relationship if you’re never a priority in his life? It’s like he only calls you or hangs out with you when he has nothing better going on, and that’s really not cool.
- He says one thing but does another. If his words aren’t matching his behavior, this is a clear sign he’s playing mind games and isn’t ready for a real relationship. Talk is cheap — it’s all about putting your money where your mouth is and living up to the things you say. If there’s a complete disconnect between the two, you’re better off making an escape now.
