Isolating by yourself can be a scary experience, especially if you’re normally a social person. If you’re single and living without family members, you’ve likely had plenty of time to reflect on the past and think about the choices you’ve made. “Did things end up right with my ex?” is a big thing to ponder. Of course, it’s easy to romanticize a bad relationship when you’re far enough away from it (both mentally and physically). Here’s how to cope if you can’t think of anything other than your ex.
Block them on Facebook.
Don’t unfriend them, just mute them for a little bit. The more you see them on your feed, the more tempted you’ll be to reach out. Getting back together with an ex isn’t always a bad idea, but during quarantine, you’re not yourself. You may be feeling a bit more lonely than ever before, and those emotions will drive you to make irrational decisions. Wait until your state (safely) opens up before unblocking and rethinking about the situation. This situation is a little different if the two of you still chat on occasion. If that’s the case, you can check and see how they’re doing, but leave all of the “remember when we used to date?” speech until later.
Think about what you liked about the relationship.
Don’t focus on the person — focus on their attributes. Did you like that they always checked up on you? Did they make you feel secure? It’s possible that a lot of these traits resemble things you’re missing from other people. Maybe your best friend has been MIA, and you’re longing for a connection. Maybe you’re just scared. Try to address your general needs in other ways.
Reach out only if you think it would benefit your mental health.
Mental health is a big topic right now. It’s really easy to feel out of control and on edge. Those with anxiety aren’t necessarily living their best lives right now. That said, reach out to your ex if you really feel like it’d be beneficial. Maybe you’re overly worried about them, or just want to see how they’re doing. The only thing to remember is that you might not be able to converse the same way you used to. Don’t expect to fall back in a relationship with the person. Just expect a casual text or two back.
Write a letter to a friend.
Writing letters is a great way to stay preoccupied and feel as if you’re connecting with someone. It’ll also make their day. It’s great to choose a friend who you’ve known for a long time and trust. If they happened to know your ex and how the relationship went, even better. You can use it as an opportunity to talk about your feelings with someone who has your best interest at heart.
Try online dating.
Online dating hasn’t stopped. There are still plenty of ways to connect with new people online who are also looking for love. If you think about it, now may be the best time to online date, especially if you’re a little intimidated by the process. All correspondence will be from the safety of your own home, and you can end up learning a lot about someone if you just talk through text and FaceTime.
If they were really a good person, don’t be afraid to apologize.
If you know that the split was completely your fault, maybe you’re having some trouble moving on. Your goal right now shouldn’t be about how to get that person back because that’s their call to make. The goal is to apologize. Tell them that you’ve been reflecting, and you’re really sorry for your actions. Don’t expect forgiveness or even a response back. This is mostly for your closure, and for you to let them know that you regret how things went down. Don’t turn it into a fight or try hard to re-assess the past. Just say you’re sorry.
Focus your energy on a celebrity crush.
It may seem a little silly but it can really work. One of the best parts about celebrity crushes is that in your head, you know it’d never happen. But, there’s a safe enough distance for you to safely swoon over them. Unless they get caught in a scandal, celebrities won’t break your heart. They can easily be a placeholder for whenever your next legitimate love connection comes around.
Don’t rule out therapy.
If you feel like you’re consumed by thoughts of your ex, you may have a bigger problem at hand. Don’t be afraid to contact someone you’ll help you move past it. It’s possible there’s a lot of baggage in this situation that you’re currently afraid to unpack. But, getting help is one of the strongest and most noble things you can do. Working on self-improvement is a wonderful way to spend this time at home.
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