There’s a reason everyone hates first dates. The nerves that come with figuring out what to wear paired with the shots you feel you need to pregame with in order to avoid any awkward silences are enough to keep any sane person off Tinder. Overly romantic first dates made sense in a time when courting and arranged marriages were the norm, but now that you have an app to find love right next to an app you use to order burritos, it’s time we took it down a few notches.
Enter the coffee date:
We don’t have to schedule an entire night around meeting a stranger.
First dates not only require a lot of prep on my part but also tend to take away from the few nights I have to drink excessively with my friends. It also puts a lot of pressure on you to be an amazing dinner companion. If I’m going to give you my Friday, I expect an Instagram-worthy place setting, bomb food and for you to compliment my ability to eat more than my portion of our shared appetizers. Do you really want that kind of heat?
If there isn’t a spark, it’s easier for us to politely bail.
I can’t speak for all of humankind, but I tend to know within the first five to 10 minutes of speaking with someone if I want it to continue any further. Call it a gut feeling or me being super judgmental, but sitting through an hour-long romantic dinner with someone I’m not interested in sounds like torture. So let’s save ourselves the struggle and go on a date only has to last 20 minutes without being rude.
We have more of an opportunity to just be friends.
Sometimes you get along with someone really well, but there just isn’t that feeling of romance that makes you want more. It’s no one’s fault, and we shouldn’t have to cut ties completely just because we don’t want to date each other. It’s weird to just be friends with someone who took you to a $70 dinner. It’s not weird to be friends with someone who bought you a $2 coffee.
I’ll be able to see if I genuinely (and soberly) like you.
There are a lot of things I like when I’m drunk that I don’t like when I’m sober. Taco Bell, EDM and the majority of guys I swiped right on are all on that list. While it’s important to know if we can have fun being intoxicated together, I’d argue it’s even more important to know if we can have fun not being intoxicated together.
You don’t have to shell out tons of cash for a girl you’re not sure you even like.
I genuinely don’t know why guys offer to take girls to a sit-down dinner for a first date. I mean, obviously there hoping to score some booty, but why try to get booty from a girl you’re not 100 percent sure you like? Skip the huge check and take a test run with a chill cup of coffee. You won’t be beating yourself up later for spending part of your paycheck on a girl you never saw again. Also, girls can be shady and might just be trying to get a free dinner off of you. Trust me, it happens.
It pretty much takes hooking up off the table.
There’s always the concern of drinking too much and making a bad decision to hook up way too early. Coffee and the cold light of day make that option pretty much nonexistent, which gives us the chance to not ruin the possibility of something good. It also saves us from the expected regret we’ll probably have the next morning. Go team!
I’ll get a better sense of who you really are.
Coffee is a lot less pressure to impress and put on a show. Meeting for a quick coffee on your lunch break or on your way back home from work gives me more of an opportunity to see the everyday you, not just the dressed up version of you in a dimly lit restaurant.
I won’t expect you to sweep me off my feet.
You can’t do a whole lot of dazzling in a Starbucks. The most you can impress me with is if you can pronounce “macchiato” on the first try. Less pressure on you means more fun for us.
I don’t have to get all dolled up.
This is purely a selfish reason, but there’s a lot weighing on what to wear on a first date. You have to be cute, but not look like you tried too hard. Sexy, but not where you’re giving off the wrong impression. Casual, but not like you don’t know how to put yourself together. I’d much rather forget about all that B.S. and just meet you in whatever I wore to work that day.
There’s less pressure to feel romantic.
And finally, there’s little to no romance. Some girls may argue that guys are only romantic in the beginning, but I find the opposite to be true. Wouldn’t you rather wait for that side of someone down the road when you actually have real feelings as opposed to the first date jitters and uncertainties? Let’s make it a point to stop racing towards the finish line and save some of the best things for last.
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