You might jokingly idolize Jay-Z and Beyonce’s Instagram-worthy life as your ultimate #relationshipgoals, but deep down, you know it’s unrealistic. In the real world, long-term love isn’t about looking good on social media or making your friends jealous, but instead about finding a solid foundation that’s built to last. Here’s what you should really be striving for:
Fighting without worrying about a breakup.
You can’t avoid arguments. They’re as inevitable as death and taxes. Of course, if you’re with the right person, a few outbursts aren’t going to turn into a full-blown breakup, so you’ll have nothing to stress over.
Letting him know you love him without saying a word.
The longer you date someone, the easier it’ll be for you to read their mind. After a while, you’ll be able to tell your boyfriend that you love him, just by kissing him in a certain way or giving him a particular smile. Actions speak louder than words, as they say.
Getting brunch with his mother.
As soon as your relationship becomes serious, his family is going to become your family. That’s why you need to do more than simply survive holiday dinners every few months. You should actually be able to spend one-on-one time with his parents without wanting to kill yourself.
Saving up enough money for a vacation.
It’s hard enough to pay the rent and have enough money left over for a dinner date. If you can actually afford to take a vacation together, you’ve definitely reached “relationship goals.“
Talking about your future, your past, and everything else.
You should be able to talk to your boyfriend about anything, no matter how embarrassing or uncomfortable it might be. He’s your own personal therapist. Open up to him in a way you’ve never opened up before.
Taking his side during an argument.
If he gets into a fight with your mailman, you should be taking his side. He’s your partner, your teammate, and your ally. His enemies should be your enemies, and his fights should be your fights.
Agreeing on what dog to adopt.
If you two are going to be together forever, you need to agree on your major life decisions. Picking a puppy is just one of many big choices you’ll (hopefully) get to make together.
Sitting in comfortable silence.
You can’t fill every second with stimulating conversations. Sometimes, you’ll have to settle for lounging around on the couch while one of you is reading and the other is watching TV, and you should be happy with that.
Keeping the fridge stocked and apartment clean.
Most fights start over mundane things, like whose turn it is to clean the dishes or cook dinner. Of course, if you two know how to distribute chores evenly, then this shouldn’t be a problem. You’ll be able to keep your house in ship-shape without sacrificing your happiness.
Trusting him not to hurt you.
The hardest thing to do is leave your heart in someone else’s hands. If you can do that, and trust your partner not to break it, then you’re already in a real, adult relationship.
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