The Sex Was Good, So Why Didn’t You Orgasm?

When it feels like you’ve been having sex for hours and you still haven’t come, it can be infuriating. You know he can get you off — he’s done it before plenty of times — but for some reason, it’s just not happening for you this time. Why is that?

You’re too stressed. If you’re anxious about an upcoming work project or have been dealing with pressure from your family and friends, it makes sense that your body just won’t respond to sexual stimulation. A release would be helpful in the stress department, but when you’re overly tense, you may not be able to make it there.

You don’t feel sexy. If you’re feeling self-conscious, there’s a good chance that you won’t reach orgasm. To be able to let go of all your worries when it comes to being naked and vulnerable, you have to feel confident about your appearance and sexual demeanor.

Your mind is somewhere else. Did you turn off the oven? Did you remember to turn in that expense report? If you’re thinking about anything other than the matter at hand, are you really surprised when you can’t come?

You’re afraid to let your freak flag fly. You can’t let go of your inhibitions because you’re worried about what you may look or sound like when in your compromising positions. When you don’t feel safe to let yourself go, you won’t be finishing.

You’re overthinking everything. You’re in your head going over whether or not he’s enjoying it or if you should change this or that about your technique. Focusing too much on the sex can actually keep you from enjoying it, so live in the moment.

You’re lacking a connection. Whether it be a sexual or an emotional one, without some sort of connection to your current sexual partner, reaching orgasm can be tough. There has to be some sort of chemistry for you to climax.

You weren’t in the mood but had sex anyway. You’re exhausted and really not in the mood to have sex but your partner wants to and you don’t want to disappoint. While this may be good for him, it really decreases your ability to orgasm.

You don’t trust your partner. You continually think about your partner having sex with someone else. Maybe they cheated on you or maybe you’re just overly cautious because some things don’t add up, but if you’re worried about what (or who) he’s doing when he’s not with you, you’re not really going to be into it.

You’re afraid to be vocal about what he’s doing wrong. If you’re not able to tell your partner that what he’s doing isn’t working, then you can sure as hell bet he won’t figure it out on his own.

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