The Most Common Ways People Make Themselves Miserable

The Most Common Ways People Make Themselves Miserable

It’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of negativity that can make you feel really down in the dumps. However, by figuring out the triggers for these emotions, you can put a stop to those behaviors and change your perspective. Here are some of the most common ways people make themselves miserable. How many of these are you guilty of?

1. Constantly ruminating on past regrets, mistakes, or missed opportunities

Ah, the old “what if” game. We’ve all played it, right? It’s like rewinding a movie in your mind, going back to those moments where you goofed up or didn’t take a chance. But here’s the thing, constantly dwelling on the past can be like trying to drive forward while staring in the rearview mirror. You’re bound to crash. Sure, reflecting on your past is good for learning, but overthinking it can trap you in a cycle of self-blame and regret.

2. Comparing yourself to other people

Oh boy, the comparison game is like a never-ending race that nobody wins. We’ve got this tendency to look at what other folks have achieved and think, “Why am I not there yet?” But hold up, it’s like comparing apples to oranges. Everyone’s journey is different, and comparing yourself to others can be a surefire way to feel like you’re falling short. Remember, your path is unique, just like you.

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4. Listening to Your (Negative) Inner Voice

You know that voice in your head? The one that seems to always have something not-so-nice to say about you? We need to be kinder to ourselves. Instead of beating yourself up over every little thing, try being your own cheerleader once in a while. It’s a game-changer.

5. Relying on external validation for happiness

Picture this: you’re building a sandcastle, but instead of using solid sand, you’re stacking it with compliments and likes from others. Problem is, those waves of external validation can wash away in an instant. Happiness that depends solely on what others think of you is like building your castle on a shaky foundation. It’s far better to build your happiness from within, like a strong fortress.

6. Neglecting your own well-being

Life can be a crazy rollercoaster, and sometimes we get so caught up in the ride that we forget to take care of ourselves. You’re going to break down eventually. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Don’t forget to hit pause once in a while, take a breather, and make sure you’re in good working order.

7. Playing it safe and avoiding challenges

Sure, staying in your comfort zone is comfy, like your favorite old pair of slippers. But think about it – do those slippers take you on adventures? No, they keep you right where you are. Playing it safe and avoiding challenges is like staying in your cozy bubble. But guess what? The magic often happens outside that bubble, where life gets a little unpredictable. Embrace those challenges; they’re like the spices that add flavor to your story.

8. Clinging to grudges and resentment

Holding onto grudges can weigh you down and, guess what, they don’t bother the person you’re mad at. Holding onto grudges is like trying to poison someone else by drinking the poison yourself. It doesn’t make any sense, does it? Forgiveness is not about letting someone off the hook; it’s about releasing yourself from the burden of resentment.

9. Fearing failure or rejection

Fear of failing or being rejected can keep you from taking risks, but here’s the truth: every successful person you admire has faced failures and rejections. It’s a part of the journey. Think of it like learning to ride a bike; you might fall a few times, but eventually, you’ll pedal smoothly.

10. Neglecting social connections

We humans are wired to connect. Neglecting our social connections is like letting a garden go untended. Loneliness can creep in, and it can make life feel a bit gray. So, pick up that phone, send that text, make plans with friends, and nurture those connections. They’re like sunshine and water for your soul.

11. Placing happiness in material possessions

Okay, let’s talk about material things. They’re shiny, they’re fun, but they don’t provide lasting happiness. True contentment often comes from experiences, relationships, and personal growth – the intangible stuff that money can’t buy.

12. Living with unrealistic expectations

Expectations can be like a game of make-believe. It’s like planning a picnic and expecting the weather to be perfect. Sometimes it rains, and that’s okay. Instead of setting unrealistic expectations, aim for realistic goals and be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned.

13. Having negative thoughts and emotions

Negative thoughts and emotions  can seep into every aspect of your life and sap your energy. While it’s okay to have moments of doubt or sadness, dwelling in these negative states for too long can feel like dragging an anchor in the sea of life. Instead, try acknowledging those feelings, seeking support when needed, and working on cultivating a more positive mindset.

14. Focusing on what you lack instead of appreciating what you have

Ever notice how it’s easy to fixate on what’s missing, like that one missing puzzle piece? It can feel like an itch you just can’t scratch. Focusing on what you lack can be like constantly searching for that missing piece instead of appreciating the beautiful picture you already have. Shifting your perspective to gratitude can be like putting on a pair of glasses that make everything seem brighter. Take a moment to appreciate the people, experiences, and small joys in your life.

15. Living in a constant state of worry and anxiety

Living in a constant state of worry and anxiety can be like carrying around a heavy backpack filled with “what ifs.” It’s a burden that can take a toll on your mental and physical health. Instead of being consumed by worry, consider strategies like mindfulness, deep breathing, or seeking professional help to manage anxiety and find more peace in the present moment.

Sinitta Weston grew up in Edinburgh but moved to Sydney, Australia to for college and never came back. She works as a chemical engineer during the day and at night, she writes articles about love and relationships. She's her friends' go-to for dating advice (though she struggles to take the same advice herself). Her INFJ personality makes her extra sensitive to others' feelings and this allows her to help people through tough times with ease. Hopefully, her articles can do that for you.
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