I Want A Man Who Leads With His Heart, Not His Penis

If you’re looking for a hookup buddy, I’m not your girl. You’re going to have to put your heart on the line if you want to get with me. If all you can think about when you see me is that I’d be fun to sleep with, you’re better off moving along and finding someone else.

  1. Sex isn’t everything to me. If you think sex is the most important part of a relationship, then you and I are on very different paths in this dating game. I care more about emotional compatibility. For me, sex is the easy part, but choosing to open our hearts to each other is a lot more difficult.
  2. I want a relationship, not a hookup. There are no mixed signals here… at least, not on my end. If you’re looking for a hookup, hookup buddy, or one-night stand, then just keep looking. I don’t want to keep it casual; I’m all about getting serious. If you can’t handle that, then you don’t have enough heart for me.
  3. I’m more than just my looks. If you can’t see past my pretty face, then keep on moving, buddy. I have a hell of a lot more to offer, and I want a man more interested in my mind than my body. I’m beautiful, but I’m also funny, intelligent, and compassionate. Who I am on the inside matters more than what I am on the outside.
  4. Sex isn’t just sex to me. I want it to mean something more. Maybe meaningless sex is a part of your life, but it isn’t a part of mine. I won’t change how I feel just to get in line with your ideals. If you want just sex, then find a girl who isn’t interested in a relationship, because we’re clearly looking for different things.
  5. I want to be the only girl in your life. You might think that “spreading your seed” is just in your nature, but that’s BS. It’s just another excuse for men to act like unevolved beasts. If you’re not a one-woman kind of guy, then you’re not the right guy for me. I won’t just be one of many. I’m one of a kind, and that’s why I know I deserve a man who’s faithful.
  6. I need a man, not a boy. I want a real man, not a boy whose only worry is getting laid. If you’re still one of those guys, then it’s about time you grow the hell up. Life isn’t just about sex. If you’re not ready for a mature relationship, then bark your penis up someone else’s tree, because my heart is closed to boys with such shallow minds.
  7. I want to know who you are in life, not just in bed. What matters most to me is who you are as a person, not just a lover. I don’t want to have a stranger lying next to me in bed. Anyone can know your body, but I want to know your soul as well. If you can’t open it up to me, there’s just no place for you in my heart or my bed.
  8. I only go for guys who think with the right head. If you’re a man who lets his penis call the shots, I’m not interested. I appreciate a guy with brains, and I won’t date a man who doesn’t use his. Don’t let your penis make your romantic choices for you. I want a man who sees me as more than just another notch he can put in his belt. If you can’t think of any reasons to be with me aside from how much you want to sleep with me, spare me the trouble and find someone else.
  9. I want to know you not only physically, but also emotionally. If we connect on a physical level, that’s great, but I don’t give a damn about that if we have no emotional connection. That matters a hell of a lot more to me. Sex will only get us so far, but it’s emotions that will keep this relationship alive forever.
  10. I want to be more than just another warm body. At the end of the day, I want to actually mean something to you. If you’re just looking for someone to stop you from being lonely, you’re better off with someone else. I’m worth more, and I deserve to be with someone who wants me for ME, not just because I have a vagina. I want love, and if all you have to offer is sex, then you’re just not going to be enough for me.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.