Every day, you choose what you accept into your life, and when it comes to love, you can either settle for good enough or stand firm in your insistence on holding out for the very best. Here’s how to make sure you never accept less than you deserve in your relationship.
Put together a relationship pros and cons list.
Sometimes you have to be pushed into action, and a pros and cons list will show you the undeniable truth of whether or not your current relationship (if you’re in one) is actually working. If on your cons list you find yourself listing things like low self-esteem, depression, isolation, or self-pity, it’s high time to get out.
Stop believing in the fairytale.
When you believe in Prince Charmings and happy endings, you’re more likely to excuse a guy’s BS because the fairytale rhetoric tells you it’ll all work out in the end. You believe he’ll change and turn into your perfect guy, but that’s never going to happen. You have to live in the real world and act accordingly.
Don’t second guess your gut feeling.
If your instinct is to run in the opposite direction from a guy you’re seeing, why on earth would you stick around? Your intuition exists for a reason—it’s there to help guide you and to protect you. Knowing something is wrong but keeping on with it anyway is just asking for trouble.
Give yourself the love you’re missing.
This a very empowering step to walking away and recovering from a relationship built on settling. What a guy can’t offer you, you’re fully equipped to give yourself. As you start filling that void, the question of worthiness diminishes and you discover and develop a new power. Knowing what you deserve and treating yourself accordingly will give you the clarity you need in all relationships.
If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.
He could be the nicest guy in the world—respectful, funny, thoughtful, the whole nine yards—but you’re just not feeling it and you can’t figure out why. Frankly, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you walk away now. If it doesn’t feel right in the beginning, it won’t suddenly start to down the line.
Listen to what your partner is doing.
If you express your needs and desires to your partner and he continues to fail to meet them, that’s telling you everything you need to know about the relationship. It’s pretty cut and dry: if you stay with him, you’re settling. There’s someone out there who won’t see you as a burden or your relationship as too much hard work. This guy ain’t it.
Meditate, meditate, meditate.
It seems silly, but meditating keeps you in the present and centered in how you feel. Sitting with your emotions creates a balance between your heart and mind, providing the opportunity to make sound decisions from a place of power. Chaos only works within chaos. It doesn’t operate in peace.
Jump into advice mode.
Another great way to see through your own delusion is to imagine what you’d tell your sister or BFF if they were in a similar situation. When it comes to giving advice, we’re ready to spill out everything our intuition is saying. It’s not always easy to follow our own advice, but it would serve us well if we did.
Face your fear.
There’s a fear holding you to this unfulfilling dynamic. Is it rejection? Abandonment? These tend to be deep-seated issues that existed before your relationship, but your relationship has brought them to life and exacerbated them. If you want to move on, you have to relinquish your fears. Once you do this, your life will get so much better.
Don’t give up on your life.
That includes your hobbies, friends, talents, and goals. These are the things that serve as the bones of who you are. They make you unique, special, and whole. If you feel like you’ve already given that up and have no idea who you are anymore, it’s time to rediscover her and never let her go again.