It’s sometimes hard to know what to do when a guy ghosts you, mainly because you might not realize you’ve even been ghosted until your texts go unread for weeks. To prevent you from doing something you’ll regret or just feeling confused about how to proceed, here are 10 things you should try when he disappears from your life without explanation.
Send a text.
Before you reach for your phone, I’m not saying you should text the guy if it’s been days or weeks and he hasn’t replied to all your other messages. I’m saying that when a guy has suddenly disappeared, you might not even realize he ghosted you, so send him a text. Play it cool. Maybe he’s actually just been swamped with family drama over the weekend and he hasn’t really wanted to talk to anyone. At this stage, you can give him (a bit of) the benefit of the doubt.
Resist the urge to send a double text.
Now, if you don’t receive a reply to the afore-mentioned text (which is like a test text), you might be tempted to go ahead and send another one. Don’t do it! You don’t need to chase anyone or try to control them so that they’ll get in touch with you.
One of the worst things about being ghosted is that it can make you feel stressed because you’re left hanging. Is the guy just acting weird but going to text you back with a perfectly valid excuse so things can go back to normal with you guys? Or is he gone for good? You have to wait it out and the best thing to do during this time is distract yourself with other, better things in your life instead of waiting around for him.
Check his social media.
I’m not saying you should stalk the guy (you have much better things to do with your time), but it might help you to put things into perspective if you check his social media timelines. Is he online and active? Is he posting stuff? This will show you that he’s around and online, he just doesn’t want to talk to you. It can make it easier to get closure on the loser.
Avoid the self-blame game.
He’s the one who’s at fault here because he just checked out of the relationship. He could have been a grownup who talked to you about problems he was facing or what was going on, but instead, he just vanished. Remember that instead of trying to find reasons to blame yourself. Nothing you could have done differently would have made him stay. It’s that simple.
Erase him from your life.
If he wants to act like he never existed, then go on and grant him his wish! Delete him from your phone right now. Yes, it’s hard, but the sooner you start, the easier it’ll get. This will prevent you from wanting to get in touch with him during a particularly low moment. A cool thing that happens when you delete a ghoster is that it starts to make you feel like you have more mental energy for other things because his name is not always showing up on your phone. Outta sight, outta mind…
Talk to a friend.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in your feelings, so it’s a good idea to open up to a close friend who can help you to see the situation for what it is and why you can do so much better. Remember that you don’t have to be alone. You’re surrounded by lots of people who care about you and can shed some interesting light on this issue.
Have a good laugh about it.
Okay, okay, so maybe laughing about how you were ghosted is the last thing you want to do right now, but try to see how funny and ridiculous he is! Your friend could help you out here. Laughter will make you feel so much better because when we can laugh about something (or in this case someone), it frees us from the pain.
Consider the closure text.
You might want to have your last say with this a-hole, and who could blame you? He just packed up and left without having the decency to tell you that he was over the relationship. It’s natural to want to express your anger, but it’s worth thinking about this before you go ahead. Do you really need to express anything to him? Does he deserve your honesty when he couldn’t offer you the same decency? Does having the last word mean giving yourself closure, or does it just give you another way to try to get him to answer you?
You might not be ready to be grateful that he walked out on you, and that’s okay. But some time in the future you’re going to look back and say, “Wow, thank goodness that jerk left!” The truth is, a ghoster isn’t worth being in your life and sooner or later you would have kicked him out of it. So, really, he’s done you a favor by walking out himself. He’s also freed up some space so someone better can walk in.
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