Not all heroes wear capes. Some of them are just minding their business, trying to work out at the gym in peace when they’re approached by annoying guys who want to flirt instead of pump iron. When that happens, the save the day by… pretending to fart.
GUYS. Just now. In gym.
*guy approaches two women working out, with flirtatious eyebrows at the ready*
Girl 1: UH you might not want to come over here, dude. I just farted. It’s bad.
Guy: *looks horrified. leaves.*
Girl 2: omg did you really?
Girl 1: psh no.
— Olivia A. Cole (@RantingOwl) January 10, 2018
- The story was shared by Olivia A. Cole. Cole, who tweets under the handle @RantingOwl, shared the exchange she heard between the man and woman at her local gym in Louisville, Kentucky, in which a woman repelled unwanted advances from male gym-goer by pretending as if she farted.
- “Uh, you might not want to come over here dude.” That was the prelude to the most beautiful sentence ever spoken between man and woman. “I just farted. It’s bad.” The man in question didn’t even respond, he just got a horrified look on his face and walked away. Glorious!
- Is the gym really the place to be picking up your next date? Sure, I know there are some couples who have met at the gym or who wouldn’t mind being approached by a cute guy or girl while running on the treadmill or lifting weights. I’m not one of them, but to each their own. Still, the two girls were clearly in the midst of a workout and weren’t doing anything to attract attention, so it’s a bit annoying that this guy came sauntering over. Clearly the woman in question felt the same.
- Newsflash, dudes: women fart. While no one particularly wants to smell someone else’s gas, the fact that the easiest way to get rid of this guy was to tell him she just laid a stinky fart is hilarious. If a guy can’t handle you at your smelliest, he doesn’t deserve you at all, right? Haha!
- This woman is an inspiration to us all. Let’s take a note from her book and, when approached by dudes we really aren’t interested in, just tell them we’ve farted, and it’s a bad one. Problem solved!
