Are there more terrifying words in the English language than “first date”? Probably not. You could be the most confident woman in the world and still cringe at the thought of sitting across from a total stranger, making small talk and hoping you get along. Dating is a lot of things: exhausting, exhilarating, terrible. But most of all, it’s pretty irritating. Here are the 10 most annoying things about dating:
- It can be a colossal waste of time. It would be great if you could exchange important info with your date beforehand: if you’re looking for an actual relationship, if you just want something casual, if you’re emotionally stunted. Of course, that would be no guarantee. Even if someone claims to want a relationship on their online dating profile, they can be super immature in person and refuse to make time for anyone except their friends. If you’ve ever gotten dolled up and arrived at a bar on a Friday night only to realize five minutes into the date that this person is not your type, you get it.
- There’s no right way to end a date. So you had a good date, whatever your version of “good” is – mind-blowing, fun, or even just mediocre (which can seem amazing depending on how bad the previous dates were). How do you end things? If you say you want to do it again, what if they say they don’t want to? If you say nothing, what if they figure you hate them and never contact you again? Ugh. I’m shuddering just thinking about it and this is a totally hypothetical situation.
- It turns you into an insecure, crazy person. We’re all amazing, fun, vibrant women. We have thriving careers and interests and all that jazz. And then we meet a guy we’re into… and it’s all gone. Okay, it’s not quite that dramatic, but it’s pretty close. When it comes to dating, many things have changed over the past few decades – we text instead of call, we hang out instead of meeting for dinner – but what hasn’t changed is that love or lust or even like makes you insecure. I doubt that will change in the future, either.
- One little comment can ruin your entire evening. We’ve all heard that a date is like a job interview and it’s never more true then when your date says something weird that makes you stop in your tracks. You wish you had a time machine and could travel back to the moments before he made such a gross/rude/sexist/just plain strange comment. You could have been having the best time ever and now you know that you’ll never actually see this person again. Awesome.
- It’s harder than ever to make plans. When did we become so completely flakey? When did it become totally acceptable to agree to go out with someone and then cancel last-minute or refuse to actually finalize the plan? We claim we want love but don’t seem to realize that means actually getting off the couch and heading to bar.
- It’s just so much work. Raise if your hand if you’re tired of the endless dating process: you chat with someone, figure they’re worth meeting in person, set up the date, get ready, arrive at the date, and then still have to be your best, most sparkly self after all that. It doesn’t go well and then you have to start the whole thing all over again. Yawn. You already have a full-time job, right?
- Breakups are non-existent. But so are relationships. If we don’t break up anymore, it’s because we never date someone long enough to warrant this kind of ending. It’s pretty common to go on two to three dates and then never, ever talk to that person ever again. Your friends wonder what happened – you seemed into each other. All you can do is shrug. You have no answers and you know it’s just going to happen again with the next person.
- Everyone is SO busy. Honestly, this is my #1 pet peeve when it comes to dating. If you’re on a dating site and chatting with someone, don’t say you’re too busy to actually meet them when the subject comes up. It makes zero sense. The same goes for planning subsequent dates. It’s so annoying because you don’t know if the person thinks they’re some CEO with a packed agenda or if it’s just a line because they actually hate you (or don’t want to date you, I’m just being dramatic).
- We’re all terrified. Not sure what we’re so scared of. Wait, I know — we’re scared to go on a date and dislike the person. We’re scared to go on a date and like the person. We’re scared of being single forever and we’re scared of entering into a relationship when we’re used to being alone and like our routine. Are we scared of everything? Sure seems like it.
- It’s the only way. Basically, unless Ryan Gosling falls out of the sky and lands on your doorstep, you have to go on dates to meet someone. To fall in love. To get your own version of romance, no matter how cheesy or logical. Really, that’s the most annoying thing about dating – that it’s the only way to stop dating forever.
