Breaking up with someone is an awkward and uncomfortable experience largely because there’s no perfect way to end a relationship. Regardless of what you say or how you say it, feelings are going to get hurt. However, there are ways to make the situation less horrible. Here are 10 breakup mistakes you should try to avoid making if at all possible.
Talking About It With Everyone
Don’t make the mistake of confiding in your friends before talking to your partner, especially if your friends are friends with your partner (or your partner’s friends). You should be the one telling your significant other that the relationship is over — they shouldn’t hear it through the grapevine. If you have to talk to someone, talk to people you really trust and make sure they know not to spread it around.
Trying To Sabotage The Relationship
If you want to break up with someone, you should just do it. Tricking them into breaking up with you by neglecting them or cheating isn’t fair. Ending your relationship won’t be a pleasant experience, but at least you’ll be following through on your decision instead of manipulating your partner to do it first.
Waiting For The “Right Moment”
You don’t want to be with your partner anymore but you still care about and respect them. That’s why you’re waiting for the right moment. The problem is, you’re prolonging the inevitable by waiting or the stars to align. Don’t do it. There’s no perfect moment to end a relationship, but sooner is better than later.
Oversharing Why You’re Unhappy
Your partner needs to know why you’re making the decision, yes, but that doesn’t mean you should give them a list of everything you hate about them. That’s rude. If you want to date other people, just say that. Don’t spend hours talking about their ugly clothes or horrible haircut. It’s not necessary.
It’s very important to be clear when breaking up with someone. Don’t use words like “maybe” or “I think.” You know what you want, and that’s for the relationship to end. Make sure your partner 100% understands that and doesn’t leave thinking there’s a chance for reconciliation when there’s not.
Breaking Up Via Text Message
Honestly, there’s no scenario that would make breaking up via text message acceptable. Not only is it rude, but it shows how little you respect your partner. You might want to avoid the emotions and take the easy way out, but that’s being selfish. Break up with your partner in person so they have the chance to respond to you face to face.
Defending Your Decision
Don’t get me wrong, you should definitely explain why you’re choosing to end the relationship. Your partner needs to hear your side. Still, that doesn’t mean they’ll understand why you’re ending it, and that’s okay. It’s not your job to make them agree with your decision. Don’t spend time defending your feelings. You’re entitled to your emotions — don’t feel bad for having them.
Suggesting You Stay Friends
You might think it’ll lessen the blow if you suggest staying friends after breaking up with your partner. It might. But it might also make things confusing for both of you. Being friends with an ex isn’t easy, especially right after a breakup. If you want this person in your life, let them go. Give them time to heal without pressure. If you’re meant to be in each other’s lives, you’ll find your way back platonically.
Forgetting To Grieve
Sure, you’re the one who ended the relationship, but that doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t hurt. Instead of jumping back into the dating pool, give yourself time to grieve. Mourn your past relationship and spend time reflecting on what went wrong and what went right.
Bad-mouthing Your Ex
The worst thing you can do after a breakup is talk crap your ex. It’s rude, immature, and unnecessary. You broke up with your partner because you weren’t interested in the relationship anymore, not because they’re a bad person. Don’t go around bashing them or the relationship just because you need an excuse as to why it didn’t work out.
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