10 Brutally Honest Signs That You’re Settling In Love

We all want that amazing, storybook romance, but unfortunately, not every “prince” we date is going to make that a reality. The world of love can be so brutal. It’s hard to find someone who checks all your boxes and seems like the perfect fit. You might feel pressured just to take what you can get. I’m here to tell you that you absolutely shouldn’t. Here are some signs that you’re settling in your relationship when you deserve so much more.

  1. Your partner doesn’t listen to you. Communication is one of the most important factors in any relationship. You need to feel heard in your relationship, and if your partner doesn’t listen to what you want or doesn’t even care to know, you’re settling for someone who doesn’t deserve you. You deserve someone who will listen to everything you say and want and will always make you feel heard because your opinion and feelings are important to them.
  2. Your partner loses their temper at you. We all get angry and it’s normal to lose your temper once in a while, but if your partner is constantly getting angry and blowing up at you, you might be settling for someone who doesn’t deserve you. You and your partner should have the mature kind of relationship where you can discuss your disagreements calmly without losing it on each other. If your partner makes no attempt to control their anger and speak rationally to you about their feelings, they don’t deserve you.
  3. You don’t feel loved by your partner. This is one of the biggest signs you’re settling. If your partner doesn’t make you feel loved and adored, why on Earth are you still with them? Life is far too short to settle for someone who simply tolerates your presence or just expects you to be there for them but doesn’t go out of their way to make you feel special and loved. If you’re settling for someone who doesn’t put in the minimum effort for you, forget them and move on.
  4. You don’t get any romance from them. Romance is definitely a spectrum of sorts and everyone considers different actions romantic and shows their love in different ways. However, if romance is something that’s important to you and you have a partner who doesn’t seem to care enough to show you any romance ever, that’s not okay. If your partner won’t do something that they know will mean so much to you, it shows that they don’t really care about you. Don’t settle for that.
  5. You feel like you’re always giving. Relationships are all about give and take. Sometimes you’re the one giving and sometimes you’re the one taking, but if you find yourself constantly giving to your partner and never getting anything back, it’s time to reassess and walk away. Your partner has to meet you halfway. Sure, there’ll be times when one of you is carrying the heavier load for the other when you need to but if you’re the one who’s always giving and never getting, get out of there. Find someone who’ll be your partner and not just someone that you take care of.
  6. You’re afraid of your partner. If you ever find yourself afraid of your partner and what they might do to you if you upset them, there’s no question about it. Get out. Reach out for help from someone you trust if you need to but you have to leave. If you’re with someone who you think might abuse you physically, mentally, or emotionally, or already has abused you, you are 100% settling and you deserve so much more. Don’t put up with that. Pack your bags and leave.
  7. You’re always compromising for them. This is another one of those major signs you’re settling. Similar to always giving, if you feel like you’re the one who always has to be flexible and change the things that you want and need to satisfy your partner, that’s not a relationship that you should be in. It’s nice to get your way every once in a while but your partner should want you to have your way too. They should want you to get what you want because that will make them happy.
  8. You don’t feel valued. If you feel like your partner takes you for granted and doesn’t value you as a person and as their partner, you are absolutely settling for someone who doesn’t deserve you. You’re such an incredible person with so much to offer and you deserve someone who makes you feel appreciated and cherished every single day.
  9. You don’t envision a future. If you’re in a relationship with someone and it feels like there’s nothing to look forward to, like you’re always going to be stuck in your present state, there’s a chance you’re settling. If you can’t imagine things getting better and having a great life with this person, it’s honestly not worth even waiting around for the possibility. If they’re not a great partner to you now, they never will be.
  10. You feel trapped. If your relationship feels more like a sentence than something you chose for yourself, that is 100% settling. Relationships should make you feel liberated, happy, excited, and safe. They should never make you feel like you’re giving up your freedom and autonomy or that you’re stuck in a situation that you don’t want to be in with no end in sight. If that’s how you feel, get out of there and find someone who really deserves you.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.