Dating is a bitch. It’s incredibly hard to differentiate the good guys from the losers, to find an actual healthy relationship and frankly, to not end up embarrassing yourself by falling for some guy who’s just not that into you. To help you navigate the mine-filled manscape, here are some guidelines to live by:
Thou shalt not initiate communication with a guy you aren’t absolutely sure is into you.
Unless a guy is making it crazy apparent that he’s all about you, don’t text, call or email first. In order to fall for a girl, a guy needs to feel she’s a little out of reach. Initiating communication with him before he gets to that point makes it difficult for him to fully appreciate and respect you, and become attracted to you.
Thou shalt not ask a guy (who is not your boyfriend) where things are going.
If you have to ask, he’s not treating you the way you deserve to be treated. Don’t ask him for an explanation or a roadmap — his explanation doesn’t matter and what he says he’s planning for the future is likely BS. A good guy who wants to be with you will make it happen. No excuses. It’s that simple.
Thou shalt not crush on, date, sleep with, pine for, or cry over a jerk.
If a guy’s treating you like an afterthought, an option, or a backup plan, he’s a jerk. Move on. Don’t give him your time, your body or any mindshare. If anything, celebrate — you dodged a bullet.
Thou shalt not be seduced by a guy’s — or your own — BS.
Don’t be stupid. You know better. Be your own best friend and keep yourself honest and out of denial.
Thou shalt not waste endless hours of your — or your girlfriends’ time — trying to determine whether some guy is into you.
Who cares whether some guy who obviously isn’t making you feel amazing is into you? Either he makes you feel good or he doesn’t. There’s nothing to analyze or agonize over. Instead, look at his behavior and ask yourself if, given what he’s shown you, you’re into him…
Thou shalt not behave like a needy bitch.
Your life shouldn’t revolve around what the guy you’re with is doing, thinking, wanting. If that’s happening, you need to get a life (we mean that in a nice way). Gather your girlfriends and make some plans. Like we said, guys need to feel a little distance between you and them…. Create that distance and he’ll be needy for you.
Thou shalt not be the crazy girl.
That girl’s not hot — keep your act together. And: If he brings out your crazy, he’s not the one. Sorry.
Thou shalt listen to your strongest self as much as possible.
Because your weaker self — the one who’s insecure and thinks you’re not good enough — should not be running your life. There’s a better, badass voice inside you, the one that loves you and wants the best for you and that’s who you should be channeling at all times.
Thou shalt behave like a chooser, not a beggar.
Act like a hot girl and men will respond to you like one.
Thou shalt not berate yourself for being single or obsess about the ticking of your clock.
This is your time to be all about you — don’t let fear ruin it. When you meet the guy — and you will — you’ll be so pissed you wasted the best years of your life worrying. And, think you’re old? You’re not. You’ll realize that 5 years from now when you’ll back and think, “Daaaamn, I was young and hot when I was ____.”