10 Excuses You’re Making For Your Bad Boyfriend When You Should Be Saying Goodbye

It’s funny how blind we can be to our own love lives and how wise we are when it comes to the dating adventures of others. We can smell a player from a mile away and can tell a friend to never talk to a guy again based on a single text message on her iPhone, but when it comes to the guys we commit to, it can take us forever to wake up and see what’s truly going on. The worst part of being in a relationship that has more problems than positive aspects is that things started out so well, and we want to believe that the good will live on. When your boyfriend isn’t outwardly horrible, it can be tricky to tell because there are always reasons to explain his behavior. But those reasons are actually BS. If you’re making any of these 10 excuses for your boyfriend, it’s time to say goodbye.

  1. His work schedule is insane, or he never knows when his shifts are. Of course, we’re all busy and we all work – but we still make time for the people in our lives, particularly those that we’re supposedly dating. If your beau is always telling you he’s not sure when he can see you next because work is so crazy, he’s either lying or he doesn’t have the guts to tell you it’s over between the two of you. Guys will rarely come right out and break up with you – they prefer to leave little hints like a trail of cookie crumbs for you to find and decipher.
  2. He can’t reach his phone right now. One of my good friends used this excuse recently when her BF was late to pick her up and a bunch of her texts went unanswered. Guess what: we can always access our phones. We’re obsessed and addicted. The opposite sex can definitely be annoying about texting, but if a guy is into you, he’ll answer your texts – and not days later, either.
  3. You’re just taking things slow. Sometimes it’s good to take a new relationship slow, and other times it can be weird. If two people like each other, why not jump right in and explore the connection? If a guy is okay being labeled your boyfriend but isn’t interested in meeting your friends and family and generally being part of your life, you’re not taking things slow. He’s a bad boyfriend. Your so-called relationship has stopped before it’s even truly begun.
  4. He’s great when you’re alone. I can’t even name the number of significant others I’ve met at parties and other events who could barely look me in the eye and say hello, let alone strike up normal small-talk party conversation. And yet apparently these guys have sparkling personalities and are the best BFs ever. I don’t think so. If your guy is really all that awesome, he will be able to be polite and friendly in social situations, period.
  5. You’re so lucky. If your partnership is truly solid, you don’t need to go around telling every single person you see that you’re so lucky and so in love. If you feel the need to do so, you’re overcompensating, and you think if you keep saying it you’re going to start believing it. The luckiest ones are confident and never need to say so.
  6. He’s starting to come around. This one is usually about getting engaged. For some reason there are tons of girls that think they can convince their boyfriends to suddenly and magically want to get married… when those guys have told them repeatedly that they are not interested at all. Some guys want to get married and some guys hate the idea. Trying to change someone never works, as you’ve probably figured out.
  7. He’s depressed/too tired to go out. Mental illness is, of course, no joke. But more than one girl has fallen for a guy’s total inability to do more than lounge around and watch TV, and that doesn’t equal a relationship. That’s not actually depression, either, it’s just an excuse for how lazy and boring he is. He will only bring you down and make you not want to see your friends or do anything fun anymore. What BF is worth that?
  8. His old girlfriends cheated on him. I would be super rich if I had a penny for every time someone told me their exes cheated on them. Maybe it’s true, but if it is, that’s a lot of infidelity going on. Even if your guy did experience that in the past, it doesn’t mean you have to treat him with kid gloves and never talk about anything real, or that you have to be on your best behavior. Stuff happens and we all deal with tragedies in our lives. You still have to be a decent person.
  9. You’ve been together forever. This is the most convenient excuse you can make for someone who’s just not measuring up to the picture of a good boyfriend. You love him, it’s been years, why break up now? But don’t get so caught up in your past and present that you can’t see that you deserve a better future. You know in your heart when something isn’t right, and it’s okay to admit that it’s not working out anymore, no matter how long it’s been.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.