10 Green Flags To Look For Instead of Cynically Focusing On Red Flags

It makes sense to be cynical when you meet a guy who seems a little too amazing. After all, you probably assume you’re in for another dating disappointment, right? While it pays to be cautious with your heart, don’t close it off completely and miss out on all the signs he just might be different from the rest.

  1. He gives you his full attention when he’s with you. We’re all addicted to our phones, but this man has eyes only for you when you’re together. He doesn’t give his phone a second glance at lunch or dinner—he keeps it in his pocket and out of sight. You only know he even owns a phone because he texts you regularly to make plans. Whaaaat?
  2. He remembers things you’ve told him and follows up. It’s a pretty big green flag if he follows up on the big job interview you told him you were nervous about. It’s an even bigger green flag if he calls to wish you good luck or sends you an encouraging text beforehand. Ditto when he texts you to see how you’re feeling when you take the day off sick or if he asks how apartment hunting’s going when you tell him you’re sick of your annoying upstairs neighbor.
  3. He shares the little things. You’ll know it’s a green flag when a guy calls you on a Monday at 3 p.m. just to tell you that he got a promotion at work. When he opens up about his dreams, about all the things he’s proud of and all the mistakes he wishes he could take back, it’s because he wants to bring you into his world. When a guy trusts you, he shares the mundane, everyday stuff and it means the world.
  4. He goes out of his way to see and talk to you. Nothing can keep this guy from you. His day may be full of meetings and he’ll still find time for a quick phone call or a message. Maybe he drives across town to see you at 10 p.m. because you haven’t gone out all week; maybe he calls you even though he’s on holiday in another time zone and had to buy a phone card to do so. No matter what’s happening in his life, he makes sure to fit you in it, and that’s a definite green flag.
  5. You’re automatically assumed to be his plus-one. Whether he’s inviting you along to his soccer game, his best friend’s birthday gathering, or just a casual barbecue at his place on a Sunday afternoon, that’s already a good sign. The fact that you’re his plus-one for plans that were made well before you came into the picture means that he wants to spend time with you and that he’d love you to be a part of his life in those little ways. Plus, his friends are going to be there, and wanting to show you off to them is a very good sign.
  6. He’s your go-to for almost anything. You find yourself going to him when you need a second opinion or even just someone to talk to. If you find that this guy is becoming your confidant and that you can talk to him about pretty much anything without having to worry about being judged, that’s a green flag. As cliche as it sounds, stay attuned to your feelings. If it’s getting to the stage where you’re feeling comfortable with him and you find that you trust him implicitly, don’t let that pass you by. He could be a keeper.
  7. He’s the opposite of a yes man. There’s one type of guy that makes it super hard to see the red flags, and that’s the yes man, also known as the people pleaser. He’s the one that’s always agreeing with everything you say and never has an opinion about anything. But that’s boring and fake. If your guy has thoughts, feelings, and opinions of his own and isn’t afraid to (respectfully) voice them, you’re in luck. You want to be with someone who keeps things interesting, someone who can call you out on your crap for the sole reason that he cares about you and wants only the best for you. Doesn’t that sound nice?
  8. Your interactions are full of playful banter. Flirting is one thing, but playful banter is the sign of a great connection and loads of chemistry. If he teases you about things and you feel comfortable doing the same, that’s awesome. If you have inside jokes, that’s even better. Enjoy it!
  9. He feels like home. It’s no secret that none of us are very good at seeing what’s right in front of our eyes until much later. The guy waving the green flags is the guy who’s always there for you, who’s willing to drop everything just to listen to you talk about your bad day or come out with you to celebrate your latest achievement. He’s the one who’s honest and genuine and plays no games. He’s the one who makes you smile all the damn time, who you can laugh with, who’s always down for some fun. Sound familiar? If you’ve got him, don’t let him go.
Disney and life combined have made a starry eyed dreamer out of me. And I refuse to wake up.

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