While it’s important to look out for red flags in relationships so you can escape ASAP, what about the green ones? Do you pick up on the signals in your relationship that are telling you to proceed to the next level? These “green flags” could be overlooked if you’ve been in bad relationships in the past because you’re more focused on looking for what may be wrong. However, here are some signs you should jump right in.
- You support each other’s goals and dreams. Both of you willingly share the goals that you have for your future and talk about how you can reach them. If there’s something you can do to help your partner get to a goal faster, you offer your help and they do the same for you. You both know that goals are important and you’re willing to take steps to not only support the other’s dreams but to help them get closer to realizing them.
- You don’t have to filter yourself. Of course you’re always respectful, but you can talk freely about your opinions and ideas and your partner can as well. You know who each other is and you aren’t expecting anything different. You can be yourself with your partner and not have to worry that you’ll be judged or that your words or actions will be taken the wrong way.
- You communicate with words and actions. Communication is a big part of any relationship, but few people think of communication as being both verbal and physical. Your language and your actions have to match. There’s a running joke about how when a woman says “fine,” what it really means is, “Run!” Unfortunately for both men and women, it can be a challenge to match our words with our physical communication language. When you communicate well in all arenas, you know you’ve got a good thing going.
- You can be apart without suspicion. If he’s going out with the guys, you don’t worry that he’s somewhere besides where he’s said he’ll be. Your overnight visit with an elderly family member doesn’t make him automatically wonder if you’re spending the night with someone else. Each of you knows that you can do your own thing, from spending time with friends to going on a weekend trip alone, and it won’t raise the suspicions of the other person.
- You make decisions together. Big decisions about the future are always made together. You make decisions about money as a team. You don’t go off and make decisions that affect both of you without consulting the other one. The two of you understand you work as a team to make the relationship work, so you make decisions about your future as a team too.
- You’re consistently intimate. Yes, sex is important, but intimacy is not only about sex. You touch freely. Your partner does little things like brushing the hair off your face. You’re familiar and comfortable together, share kisses at random moments, hold hands under the table, and you do it all just because you want to.
- You are each other’s person. When you get that raise at work, he’s the first person you want to tell. If you have an argument with your best friend, he’s the one you turn to. He can’t wait to get home to tell you about his new best time on his run. Good or bad, you turn to each other when there’s something big happening.
- You trust each other. When it comes to your relationship, trust is one of the main foundations. You don’t give each other reason to doubt your relationship. There’s no reason to hide information from each other so you can maintain an open and honest relationship.
- You respect each other’s boundaries. It’s important to understand that even in a good relationship, people can have boundaries. These boundaries can be big or small, but they’re important to each of you. You don’t try to persuade the other to cross them and you don’t feel a need to change your boundaries.
- You look forward to being alone together. When the day ends, you want to be together. Being alone with your partner doesn’t mean boredom and repetition. It means comfort, love, and acceptance.
Look for the good things in your relationship. If you see “green flags,” they’re telling you to go ahead. You know you can relax and enjoy a long and healthy relationship.
