No matter how cheerful you want to stay on a daily basis, when you’re forever single and going on bad dates, it’s normal to wish that you could just be in a relationship already. And then, boom, you meet the coolest guy ever and soon there you are, making things official. It’s a super exciting time, but it’s also a time in your life that teaches you a lot. Here are 10 lessons you learn when you go from single AF to seriously coupled up:
You might not need as much alone time as you thought. Being single AF means the world (aka your world) is your oyster. You can binge watch the girliest shows ever to your heart’s content… and you totally do. Most of your evenings are spent planted on the couch and you wouldn’t have it any other way. When you finally have a boyfriend, you’re obviously going to see him a lot, and that cuts down on your personal TV time. Back when you were single, you thought that you would always need a lot of time to yourself once you found someone, but once you do, it’s surprising how little you care about the latest episode of This Is Us. Love and hormones and all that jazz, right?
Wanting to see your boyfriend 24/7 doesn’t make you clingy. Sure, you want to be strong and independent even when you become a girlfriend. But you’re so in love with your new guy and you honestly want to spend as much time with him as you can. You figure out pretty quickly that doesn’t make you clingy… because he wants to hang out with you just as much. How can you be clingy when you’re both on the same page?
Sex is a big deal… and not at the same time. When you’re rolling solo, you may or may not be having sex on a regular basis. Either way, you know that sex is an important part of any relationship. You want to be sexually compatible with your boyfriend and you want to be fairly similar in how often you want to get busy, too. But sometimes you’ll have an epic cold, or you and your BF want to go to bed early, and sex just doesn’t happen. And guess what? Nothing bad happens, either. Sex is both a big deal and not at all, and that’s pretty comforting.
There’s not much that a sense of humor can’t fix. It’s easy to think that you’ll never fight with your boyfriend and that you’ll always think that he’s pretty close to perfect. Another lesson you learn when you go from being really single to really in love? The fact that as long as you both keep laughing, even when something tough is going on, you’ll be okay. Joking around is a great reminder of how much you care about each other and that you’re in this thing for real, no matter what’s happening.
The future isn’t actually a scary place. It’s really hard to think about what you want your life to look like in the next five years (or even the next five months) when you’re seriously single. You hope that you’re going to meet a great guy within that time frame and that you won’t be single forever, but of course, you really have no idea. And that’s a shame. Once you’re in a relationship, you feel a certain level of comfort and security that just doesn’t exist when you’re on your own, and it’s really nice. Suddenly the future is an amazing, happy place, and you and your new guy have so much to look forward to.
Not every guy is emotionally immature. It’s super easy to assume that guys are just immature. Period. They won’t tell you how they feel, they won’t whisper sweet nothings in your ear (or the 2017 version, text them to you), and you’ll always wonder what they’re thinking. The truth is that the right guy will absolutely be emotionally mature. He’ll be the first to say that he likes you, he’ll say that he loves you when the time is right, and he’ll definitely tell you how he feels on a regular basis. And it’s amazing.
If relationship milestones are going to happen, they’ll happen naturally. Sure, you text your BFF about whether to text a guy after a first date, but when you’re finally coupled up, you won’t need any advice. Things will progress naturally and your relationship will find its own natural rhythm. Your boyfriend will probably even bring up every milestone, from meeting each others’ parents to when you should move in together. There’s literally no need to stress, and that’s music to your longtime single ears.
You’ll find out who your true friends are. Sadly, once you finally have a boyfriend, you might actually lose some friends… especially if you’ve bonded with some women over your shared solo status. If they’re jealous AF that you’ve found someone special, they might start with negative comments or refuse to make plans with you, and eventually you’ll get the hint and move on. It sucks for sure, but if people aren’t going to be happy for you, there’s not much that you can do.
It’s okay to feel like you need your boyfriend. You can’t possibly be a feminist if you feel like you need a guy, right? Wrong. It’s awesome that you’ve found your person, and you shouldn’t stress out over feeling like you not only want to be with this guy forever, but you honestly need him. That’s why they say that being in love is like not being able to eat, sleep, or think clearly. Just enjoy it without worrying about whether you’re still a feminist or not (but of course you are).
The right guy won’t care how long you were single. You’re a confident woman, but it’s totally okay if you’re a bit reluctant to share just how many years you’ve been on your own. You wonder if there was something wrong with you and why exactly this happened. The right guy will prove that you have zero reason to care about this. He won’t give a crap about your number, either, or about anything that happened before he came into your life. And you’ll be blissfully happy, which is all that you should focus on, right?
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