10 Love Lessons I Learned From My Single Mom

10 Love Lessons I Learned From My Single Mom ©iStock/Georgijevic

Growing up with a single mom taught me a lot about life in general, but she also taught me everything I know about love — lessons that I carry with me even as an adult.

  1. Nothing is worth losing your self-respect over. Relationships require compromise, but if someone wants you to do something that sacrifices your self-worth, then it’s time to walk away.
  2. It’s never too late for another chance at love. Years after my mom’s divorce, she started dating again and found an amazing new relationship. Sure, breakups can be hard, but don’t think that you’ll never be happy again. Once you work on yourself, you’ll find something even better. Also, never think that your time is running out, because you’re never too old for love.
  3. Love comes into your life in different ways. We tend to focus on romantic love as if that’s the only kind that can make us happy and less lonely. Don’t forget that the love of your friends and family can fill that void possibly even better than romance.
  4. Never leave your good friends behind. When you fall in love, it’s natural to want to spend all your time with your new partner instead of your old friends, but don’t forget them. You still need to have part of your life that doesn’t involve your insignificant other. Plus, if your relationship fails, you’ll need them to fall back on.
  5. Always have a backup plan in case things go south. It may seem cynical, but it’s pretty logical. My mom always told me how thankful she was for her prenup when she got her divorce. If you’re truly in love, you might think it’s unnecessary to protect yourself because you’ll never split up. Once that love, though, you might find yourself in a really bad position.
  6. You never stop learning about love. No matter how old you get, you’ll never have it all figured out. I’ll never forget when my mom asked me for love advice. Don’t be too proud to reach out for help when you’re a little bit clueless. Sometimes a different perspective is all you need to hear.
  7. Divorce isn’t always bad news. Our first instinct is to say “I’m sorry” when we hear someone says they’re getting a divorce, but I was actually relieved when my own parents told me they were splitting up. People choose divorce because they know it’s better than staying with someone who isn’t right for them. Don’t pity or shame divorced people!
  8. There are more important goals than being in a relationship. A lot of people really want to find a relationship and are ashamed of being single. They accept bad behavior from a terrible partner because hey, at least they have someone. There are more important things in life than love, and one of them is being happy. Being in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean you’re happy.
  9. Your soulmate can be a friend or family member. “Soulmates” tend to be used for someone we’re romantic with, but that’s not always true. My mom’s soulmates that know her in and out include me, her family, and her friends that she knew from childhood. She laughs, talks, and is comforted with us every day. How can we be anything less than soulmates?
  10. Good things can come out of bad relationships. Sure, my mom’s past relationships failed, but what I found is that she became shrewd in her love life as well as her business life because of it. Breakups do cause heartbreak, but the rebuilding after that can leave a person so much stronger.
Nicole Weaver is a staff writer for YourTango and regularly contributes to Hollywood, The Bolde, and Proud2BMe. She is a lover of all things entertainment meaning she spends most of her nights in New York binge watching television shows. Follow her on Twitter at @nikkibernice.