Getting into a new relationship can often be anxiety-inducing. You really like your new partner but you’re afraid that the tiniest bump in the road will send them heading for the hills. While your fears are totally valid and understandable, it doesn’t mean that you have to lie to your partner to keep them around. In any event, if you do, it’s very common. Here are some of the common ones you might be tempted to sell.
The last time they were serious with someone
Lying or being vague with your new person about when you were last in a serious relationship is something that a lot of people do. The person could be nervous to tell their partner the truth out of fear of being judged. If they recently were in a pretty serious relationship, their new partner might worry that they’re just a rebound. If they haven’t been in a serious relationship in a long time, they might worry that there’s a specific reason why.
How serious their past relationships were
The reason someone might have to lie about the nature of their last relationships will vary depending on the person. A big reason could be that they don’t want you to think that they’ve had too many serious relationships because it could look like their relationships never work out for some reason. If they’ve never had serious relationships in the past, they might worry they’ll look immature or fickle.
If they’re still in contact with any of their exes
If someone remains friends or at the very least casual acquaintances with any of their exes, they’ll more than likely be hesitant to share it with the new person they’ve just started dating. There are certain situations where it could be totally fine to stay friends with an ex, but telling your new partner that you’re buddy-buddy with someone that you used to date might not go over well so early into the relationship.
What they find most attractive in a partner
Sharing what they find attractive in a person can be a tricky thing for someone to do in a new relationship. The lie that they’re most likely going to tell is that all the qualities their current partner has is the ones they’re most attracted to. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re lying, of course. They may take the list of what they like and enhance it with all of their new partner’s qualities in order to make them feel special.
How their relationships ended.
The reason someone might feel the need to lie about what caused their last breakup is that they’re afraid that their new partner will judge them. If the last relationship they were in ended badly or there was a volatile breakup involved, their new partner might worry that they cause drama. While the way every relationship ends varies from person to person, it can still be a nerve-wracking thing to share with a person.
If they were ever engaged or married
If someone has been married or engaged before, it can be a very scary thing to share with the person they’ve just started dating because they could be afraid that their partner will see them in a negative light. There’s a lot of stereotypes that tend to go along with the topic of divorce that may or may not be true. People might think that it was down to infidelity or that the person has a lot of baggage from their past. Stereotypes can be really unfair, but lying about being married or engaged is a big deal. The right person wouldn’t judge someone for their past.
If they’ve ever cheated
This is definitely something someone would be very likely to lie about for obvious reasons. Obviously, if someone tells you that they’ve cheated on a partner before, your first thought would be that there’s a good chance that they’ll cheat on you. You might take that as your cue to remove yourself from that relationship right then and there. Cheating is never okay, but just because someone made a mistake in the past doesn’t always mean that they’ll make it again. It’s important to share things like this when the time is right so that you can assure your new partner that you’ve learned from the past and won’t make that mistake again.
If they want to get married
If someone thinks that the person they’ve just started dating has marriage on the brain, they might tell a small fib and say they’re excited to get married someday too even if they’re not quite sure yet how they feel about it. Early in a relationship, there’s a lot of pressure to make sure your dreams and desires align with the other person’s so, it’s common to lie about future plans. It might be harmless at first, but if your feelings are different than theirs and the lie keeps going, it could have consequences in the long run.
If they want to have children
Similar to the point above, lying about wanting children or not wanting children in the future to agree with your new partner might seem harness in the beginning but could end up causing trouble in your relationship. The subject of children and growing a family is a very serious topic and it’s important that both you and your partner are honest with each other about your feelings on topics like these or it could eventually pose a threat to your relationship.
If they’re looking for something long-term right now
When two people start dating, they may or may not be looking for the same thing in a relationship. One person might be looking for something long-term while the other might just be looking for something casual and not serious. Lying about what you’re looking for, however common, is not a good thing for either person. In fact, one or both people could end up hurt. It can be really scary to be honest when you’re in a new relationship with someone because you want so badly to impress them, but honesty is a very important part of a successful relationship.