The beginning of a new relationship is exciting and hopeful. Could this finally be “The One”? Maybe, but it’s important to have your eyes open while you continue to get to know your new partner and figure out if you’ll gel together long-term. Don’t overlook reality. If you do, this love affair could be over before it even has a chance to get started. Here are 10 common mistakes people make at the beginning of relationships that you should try to avoid if possible.
- You say too much. On your first date (and consecutive dates), you lay everything out of the line. There’s no such thing as too much information. While you shouldn’t hide important parts of your life, there’s no need to get all the details out at the very beginning. Give it some time to see if you can trust each other. There’s plenty of time to get to know everything about each other if you’re together long-term.
- You don’t make your boundaries clear. If the person you’re dating reveals that they move a lot for business reasons and you have no intention of relocating, you should make that clear from the beginning. When you expect the person you’re dating not to see other people while the two of you are figuring out where this new relationship is going, you should say so. If you’re vague about where your boundaries lie, don’t be surprised if they’re crossed.
- You’re overly suspicious. Suspicions and jealousy at the beginning of a relationship are two of the things that are sure to put it to a halt immediately. If you’re looking for problems, you’re likely to find them. If you assume that the person you’re dating is doing things behind your back, you’ll find evidence of it in some way. Try to have trust until there’s a reason not to.
- You’re extremely needy. Remember that the two of you have just started dating. If you need them to be around all the time, be in constant contact, or put you first all the time, the person you’re dating will feel smothered. Give them space to live their life and take some time to continue to do your thing without them.
- You confuse physical chemistry with genuine feelings. You may be waiting to have sex or the two of you might have had sex on the first date. It’s a personal choice. Either way, there’s bound to be some physical chemistry between the two of you and that can make for some confusing emotions. Just remember that this exciting energy between you is just physical. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re fated to be together.
- You ignore the red flags. When you’re embarking on a relationship, you want everything to work out. You’re hopeful that this could be the person you can spend your life with. It’s natural to want that. However, the desire to find “your person” can be so strong that you overlook red flags. These flags are serious warnings that you could be in danger or that this new person in your life will infringe on your moral and ethical boundaries.
- You put your other relationships on the back burner. Your friends and family should never be forgotten when you’re in a new relationship. It’s important to remember that they were there before this new relationship and they’ll be there whether it works out or not. Continue to see the other people that matter in your life.
- You expect your partner to change. If there are traits in the person you’re dating that you know you can’t live with, don’t even consider asking them to change or expecting them to modify their behavior. It’s not going to happen. If you can’t be happy with them as they are, one of you is going to be disappointed.
- You bring past hurts into your new relationship. At the beginning of relationships, it’s important to remember that this new person isn’t the one in your past that hurt you. Take the time to get to know who they are as an individual. Try not to let your past baggage travel with you in your new relationship.
- You are not genuine about who you are. Keeping certain aspects of your personality hidden to try to make them like you more doesn’t work. You do things that you wouldn’t normally do or try to stop doing things that are part of your life. Be yourself as much as possible.
New relationships are full of hope and excitement. Of course you want it to work out at the beginning of your new relationship. If you force it, if you hide aspects of your personality, or if you try to make it become something it’s not, both parties could end up being hurt. Try to have fun and just be yourself. Let nature take its course.