Here Are 10 Nonsexual Things My Partner And I Do In The Bedroom To Increase Intimacy

A satisfying sex life is essential for long-term relationship happiness, but there are other things that can be done in the bedroom to enhance your connection with your partner. Here are some bedroom behaviors that have helped me and my S.O. Give them a try!

We actually talk after we have sex.

A 2014 study revealed that pillow talk leads to higher relationship satisfaction. This makes so much sense to me; there’s no time when I feel more in tune with my partner than right after we have sex. We’ve just shown our love in the most intimate way and we’re both incredibly relaxed. This has become the time when we seem to have our deepest conversations and also our silliest. We talk about our desires, our future, and we also just catch up with each other in general. We tell each other stories and laugh about the same things. It’s my favorite one-on-one time.

We spend time cuddling.

According to science, couples who cuddle more achieve greater contentment in their relationships, especially when they do it after sex. Morning is also a great time for this activity. My partner and I have good conversation while snuggling up so we’re reinforcing our emotional and physical connection. Once we started cuddling more often, our bond definitely got stronger.

We give each other massages.

Relieving stress and tension for each other promises more intimacy. It’s a great way to be more in tune physically that doesn’t have to involve sex, and it has emotional benefits too. Even though my S.O. is terrible at massages, it still makes me feel closer to him. It solidifies our trust because we’re letting the other person take control. Plus, it’s very romantic, especially if we set the mood with candles and music. Massages make us more connected for sure.

We actually sleep together.

My partner and I used to never sleep together, like ever. I’m the lightest sleeper on earth and he had a bad snoring problem, so he slept on the couch and I slept in the bed. It was embarrassing because none of my friends understood and they judged us for it. Worse than that, it made me feel so distant from him. Finally, after being together for a while, he went to a sleep doctor and was diagnosed with sleep apnea. He got a CPAP machine to use at night that eliminates his snoring and now we can sleep in the same bed. Woohoo! This has done wonders for our relationship and it was an easy change that has made us feel so much closer.

We go to bed at the same time.

This goes along with sleeping together because if you don’t also go to bed at the same time, you’re not reinforcing your attachment. It’s nice to feel that the one you love is physically next to you while you’re falling asleep. It makes me feel like my partner and I are a team. Even though he doesn’t quite get why this means so much to me, he still does it anyway because he knows it makes me feel closer to him. I feel comforted and safe, and these are important things in a relationship.

We wrestle in bed.

You have to be able to be goofy with your partner because it builds your intimacy even more. Sometimes it even acts as foreplay. Also, laughing and acting like kids is the best therapy. When we wrestle, we’re essentially killing two birds with one stone—bonding and relieving stress. It’s a win-win.

We make each other breakfast in bed. 

This is a simple romantic gesture that can go a long way toward showing that you’re thinking of the other person. If you hate to cook, even bringing the other person some coffee has the same effect. In my relationship, it gives us that time to connect until our busy lives resume for the day.

We make the bedroom romantic.

If the room where you sleep together isn’t romantic and relaxing, it isn’t conducive to building your relationship. The room should feel like your safe space. Paint the walls a neutral shade, decorate the walls with art or pictures that mean something to both of you, and pick nice bedding—all of these things will improve the atmosphere. My S.O. just bought us a beautiful picture of a tree to hang over our bed and every time I look at it, I’m reminded of the fact that trees to us signify our growing lives together. Find ways to make your bedroom unique.

We took the TV out of the bedroom.

This goes along with making the room more romantic. TV time can prevent you from having conversations, not to mention it’s bad for your health. I always had a TV in my bedroom growing up, but when I moved in with my S.O., he was pretty adamant about not having one. When we’re in bed together, we’re not distracted and are more likely to interact with each other, which helps us stay close. The bedroom should be mainly for sex or sleeping, and I’ve come to love not having the TV there. We still bond over our favorite TV shows, just not in the bedroom.

However, we don’t forget about sex!

 Sex is still the ultimate act of intimacy for us. When we have lulls in our sex life, which happens sometimes when life gets in the way, I always feel a bit distanced from him. A good sexual relationship leads to a deeper connection, so it’s important to make this a priority too.

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