Wedding planning has been an interesting adventure for me so far. Everywhere I go, someone seems to have an opinion on wedding etiquette and things I absolutely “need” at my wedding. My wedding is Harry Potter-themed and certainly not typical in many ways, but there are some traditions that I want to recognize to make my day perfect, even if they seem a little outdated.
- No peeking before the ceremony. I totally understand why some couples prefer to do the “first look” before the actual wedding ceremony begins. It gives couples the chance to get over the initial nerves of seeing each other for the first time on their big day. For me, it’s a little bit different. When I was little, I rarely dreamed about my wedding day. One thing that did cross my mind once in a while, however, was how exciting it must be to look down the aisle and see the future ahead of you. I think it’s classic and symbolic and I can’t wait to experience it for myself.
- My guests will sit on chairs. I might be getting married on a farm due to the lengthy list of wedding guests, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to make my 70-year-old aunt sit on a hay barrel. To each her own when it comes to wedding planning, but I think some things are better left the way they are in the seating department.
- There will be a bride’s side and a groom’s side. I’ve seen the cute chalkboards on Pinterest that say ‘pick a side, we’re all family today’ which is super cute, but not very practical. My fiancee and I have invited approximately the same amount of people each and it’ll save a lot of time if we can seat all of our friends and family together on either side.
- I want my dad to walk me down the aisle. I’ve heard that the act of a father “giving away” his daughter to her new husband is a sexist act, but I don’t see it that way. My dad raised me to be a strong, independent woman that can recognize a good man when I see one. My dad supports me and my husband will continue that legacy long after he’s gone. I see the act of “giving away the bride” as more of a symbolic gesture that my father recognizes my husband can give me the care I need.
- I plan on wearing a veil. Historically, some brides wore veils down the aisle in order to ensure their nuptials would remain demon-free. I’m not particularly worried about demons deciding to RSVP to my big day, but I do think veils give brides a beautiful and ethereal finishing touch. My veil complements my dress so nicely and why wouldn’t I take added measures to keep demons away? (Mostly kidding.)
- I love the bouquet toss. I’ve never been embarrassed to get up and try to catch the bouquet. I’ve heard some single women think it’s just another way to put them on the spot for being alone, but who is actually that malicious? If anyone at my wedding feels put on the spot or too uncomfortable to participate, no one has to! It’s meant to be innocent fun.
- The garter toss is happening too. Honestly, it’s just too fun watching a bunch of drunk guys push each other around over a flying piece of lacey fabric.
- I want the DJ to announce my wedding party. This is another wedding tradition that seems to make people feel like they’re being put on the spot. The fact is, I want my bridesmaids to know how appreciative I am of all the love and hard work they’ve put into making this day special for me. My bridesmaids and my future husband’s groomsmen deserve a moment to shine!
- I plan on doing the dollar dance. The dollar dance is a tradition in which people line up to pay for a quick dance with the bride and groom. A lot of people see it as tacky, but I’ve always thought it was a sweet way to spend a minute or two with my guests on the dance floor. My fiancee and I decided to put a little twist on it and offer everyone that pays to dance with us a free shot at the end.
- My family is paying for the wedding. Wedding etiquette has definitely changed a lot through the years, and more often than not, the party responsible for paying the bill is the bride and groom. My parents made it clear when my fiancee and I started getting serious that they had started a savings account for me, their only daughter, a long time ago. I’m deeply grateful to them for that because I know a lot of couples who are still paying off their vendors months after their weddings.
