Many people who fear confrontation tend to be passive aggressive, but this method can be damaging to friendships and romantic relationships because you’re not actually communicating to solve your issues. But which passive aggressive moves are the most harmful and need to be ditched? These ten! They’re all terrible, but we’ve all been guilty of one or two (or all of them) at some point or another.
Giving backhanded compliments.
Either don’t say anything if you have nothing nice to say, or be an adult and actually say what you mean. Throwing shade just helps you ignore the problem you obviously have with the other person and makes you look like a total bitch.
Giving the silent treatment.
People who are too immature to use their words resort to this move. It usually doesn’t pan out well because only communication resolves problems. Stop pushing things off and talk about what’s bothering you.
Secretly holding a grudge.
You say that everything is good now, but deep down you know that’s not the case. You still keep the other person at a distance instead of truly moving on. This is pretty toxic behavior. If you say you’ve buried the hatchet then do it or say that you’re still upset.
Procrastinating when it comes to something you don’t want to do.
You were asked to do a task by your boss or a parent, but you’re resenting them for it, so you put it off as long as you can. You’d be better off just doing the task so you can move on to what you really want to do instead of harboring resentment.
Purposely sabotaging others.
Not passing along messages they need or not doing something you promised you would is sabotage and can backfire. If you can’t deal with this person properly, then you might just want to walk away completely instead of purposely hurting them and pretending you’re helping.
Saying “I’m fine” when you’re definitely not.
There are memes and jokes about how “I’m fine” usually is a bad thing when it is coming from a woman, and it usually is. You’re allowed to be upset… as long as you’re willing to speak up as to why. If you don’t, then you’ll just deservedly be miserable because you’re not doing anything about it.
Expecting others to just know what they did wrong.
We all think it’s very obvious when someone has wronged us, but everyone has their own perspective. If someone is still acting like everything is okay after they offended you, then bring it to their attention so they know to apologize or address the situation. No one is a mind reader.
Pretending to be indecisive.
Sometimes we like to do this so we can test others, but it’s a bad move. If the other person makes the decision you know you don’t want, then you don’t have much room to be angry because you decided to be passive. When you know you want something, speak up.
Talking badly about someone behind their back.
This is just as bad as backhanded compliments, if not worse, because you don’t even have the guts to say anything to the person’s face. Before you start gossiping, ask yourself if you would say it to the person’s face. If the answer is no, don’t do it.
Pretending to forget about something.
People often do this to get out of something they didn’t want to do, but if it’s important and will truly affect someone, then you have to speak up. Save pretending to be forgetful for that lame party being held by someone you hardly know but was somehow was invited to anyways.
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