10 Problems That Go Away When You Date Women Instead Of Men

Ever wondered how much better it would be if the men you dated weren’t, well, men? If you’ve ever felt drawn to women romantically but haven’t yet taken the plunge in dating one, here are just a few reasons following your heart just might lead to some unexpected benefits.

  1. You don’t have to hang out in a dude’s room. Let’s face it—most guys are messy, unorganized, and probably won’t share your love of interior design. You don’t want to have to clean your bathroom and bring your own incense and teabags in order to have a nice time at his place. While somewhat stereotypical, women tend to care a bit more about their living spaces, so hanging out at your girlfriend’s place is likely to be a lot more comfortable.
  2. Lesbian sex is just better. Don’t believe me? Women who’ve grown up with a female body know how to give pleasure to females better than men do. Did you know that about 75% of female-bodied women don’t orgasm from penetration alone? No? Well, you can bet even fewer guys know that or care. On the other hand, a feisty lady is guaranteed to give your clit the attention it truly deserves.
  3. Women tend to actually care about your pleasure. Unlike many men, most women don’t have the conceited idea in their heads that sex is all about their pleasure, not yours. Women want to please you as much as they want to be pleased—and with women, sex doesn’t have to end as soon as they have one orgasm.
  4. You don’t have to worry nearly as much about assault. OK, some women only worry about sexual assault with men who are strangers, but statistically speaking, it’s fairly likely that a woman will be assaulted by a man she’s in a relationship with at some point in her life. It’s a hard truth but too real to ignore. It’s not because women have bad judgment or bad taste in men, it’s because some men are manipulative, abusive a-holes. Not all of them, but enough of them to be a concern.
  5. You can throw gender roles out the window and just be yourself. Chances are you spend a lot of energy trying to act like the perfect woman next to your guy, even subconsciously. Instead of trying to be the perfect girlfriend, why not just be yourself? Without the boyfriend, there’s no pressure to act a certain way because there’s no ideal image of a lesbian couple. Compromise will still be a part of every relationship, but not dating men lets you be more in touch with yourself. This goes for sex too—instead of focusing on P in V (which lots of women don’t enjoy that much anyway) you can just do whatever you want. It’s totally liberating.
  6. You can share clothes and fashion advice. Obviously it’s possible you won’t have the same size jeans as your partner or even the same sense of style, but if you do, there’s a lot to be said for doubling your jewelry, makeup, and accessories collections just like that. Plus, when you’re getting dressed in the morning you can get some real advice on your outfit instead of “you always look hot, honey” accompanied by a quick butt squeeze, your girlfriend can help. She might compliment you too, but you’re also likely to get some actual feedback.
  7. That feeling of not being understood becomes alien. Men often fail to truly “get” women. Combine that with their general lack of emotional intelligence and it’s a recipe for disaster. Boys aren’t raised to understand that emotional labor is a thing, and that putting effort into understanding your partner’s feelings is important. Women get it, and emotional labor isn’t a huge chore for them because they have the capacity to genuinely care about your feelings!
  8. It might be subjective but female bodies are sexier. They’re curvy, smooth, soft—the complete sensual package. Nothing can beat the way a woman’s skin feels silky and supple under your hands. They also smell different, and some would say better. Same goes for kissing. Of course, all of this is subjective, but if you’re someone who dates men and women, you’ll probably agree.
  9. When you go out, people treat you like a person instead of one half of a couple. When you go to events with your girlfriend, chances are people will assume you’re just friends unless they know you’re dating. This means you get to be treated like an individual instead of like someone’s girlfriend. Plus, all of a dude’s friends will no longer steamroll you in conversations. Trust me, it’s refreshing.
  10. Commitment is easier with women. Women are just way less scared of commitment as a general rule. How many times have you had a guy get all evasive when you try to talk about your future? Girls are way better at being upfront with their feelings and boundaries. Even if it turns out they don’t want more commitment, at least they’ll just tell you instead of making you play the guessing game.
Miranda is a freelance writer who has lived in several cities in the US and Canada. She spends a lot of time thinking about gender and intersectional experiences.