The other day, I overheard a guy talking to his buddy about all of the women he’s been dating recently. As I eavesdropped, it became obvious that he’s been sleeping with all of these women simultaneously. I quickly became infuriated by his cavalier description of his sleazy antics. Here’s what I wish I could have asked him:
- Aren’t you exhausted? Seriously, though, isn’t he tired of switching back and forth between text messages with all of these women who think that he’s dating them? I get tired just texting back and forth with my only boyfriend and handful of friends all day. How does he do it?
- Do you need some water to help you hydrate since you’re so thirsty? I just don’t understand. I don’t understand how men like him get away with this! Is he seriously this desperate for attention or companionship or whatever it is that he’s looking for that he has to do this?
- Do you ever text the wrong person? Since he’s ‘dating’ all of these women, how does he keep them straight? Does he even care? Does he just text them all good morning at the same time and let the chips fall where they may? I regularly text my mom instead of my boyfriend by accident because like every normal person, I’m busy, I’m a little careless sometimes and I text the wrong person. I can’t even imagine how this guy manages not to get all of these people mixed up.
- Do all of these women know you’re dating multiple people? I just want to know. I’m a little confused as to how he’s getting away with this! Like, what lies does he tell to keep them from becoming suspicious of him? Does he just tell one person that he’s working late and go spend time with the other? Do they know about each other? Is he afraid that they will find out?
- Are you sleeping with all of them too? Because if he is, I hope he’s using protection. It’s never ever cool to put someone else’s sexual health in jeopardy, especially if they both choose not to use condoms. At the very least, he should be open about the fact that he’s sleeping with multiple people and give her the option to continue or GTFO. It’s the right thing to do.
- Are they all following you on social media? OK, this is 2017. If they’re not all following him, how exactly is he avoiding the social media thing? Is he just not connecting with any of them online? Is he just going around rejecting their friend requests but continuing to take them out on dates? A guy who’s weird about his social media, in my opinion, is being shady… and I think many other women would agree.
- Why can’t you focus on one woman? Dude, seriously, this isn’t The Bachelor. Plus, what they do on that show is much more acceptable than what you’re doing. At least on The Bachelor all of those women consent to dating the same guy. They have information. They know what you’re getting into. He’s just being selfish and dipping in every pool he can. It’s gross.
- Do you honestly think what you’re doing isn’t cheating? Uh, hello, FYI he’s cheating. His behavior is textbook cheating. If he’s dating a woman and don’t tell her that he’s dating other women then he’s cheating. Most women don’t have an expectation that men are going to be dating other people unless the relationship is defined as non-exclusive at the beginning. A lot of women still value monogamy in our society even if polyamorous relationships are becoming popular. Even then, polyamorous relationships work because they’re built on communication and openness, not by being shady in secret.
- Are you as afraid of commitment as you seem? It sounds like he has serious issues he should deal with, dude. Committing to one person is work. It requires you to be vulnerable and open about yourself with one other person and only one. I get it, but he’s not going to overcome whatever complex he has by dating a bunch of women all at the same time.
-  Are you afraid of getting caught? You remember that show Cheaters, right? A guy would take a girl out and then another woman he’s dating or married to would show up in the Cheaters van with a camera crew in tow ready to blow up his entire spot. I hope at the very least he’s smart enough not to date women who could easily find out about each other. Millenial women are amazing investigators. We’re very smart and we’ll absolutely find out if dudes are playing us. We’ll band together and take them down if we have to. So in my opinion, this guy probably should be a little nervous about getting caught. It most definitely won’t be pretty when he does.
