10 Questions You Have When You’ve Been Ghosted

10 Questions You Have When You’ve Been Ghosted ©iStock/gremlin

Ghosting is just a fact of modern dating, mostly because the Internet has turned people into douchebags. If you’ve ever been ghosted by a guy, you’ve probably asked yourself these questions at least once:

  1. “Why did he do this?” Seriously, we all wonder why guys ghost. Do they not have the balls to say they’re not interested? Did they just forget about us?  What’s the deal? There’s got to be a reason, right?
  2. “Were you just looking to pump and dump this whole time?” When a guy ghosts after sex, it can be pretty brutal for women who were really looking for a relationship. When it happens, all we really want to know is if we ever had a chance, or if we were just a toy the entire time. If only guys could be honest about their intentions…
  3. “Did you lose interest because of someone better?” Some of us, when ghosted, assume there’s another girl in the picture. It hurts, but we’d rather hear it from the guy than have to do guesswork.
  4. “What did I do wrong?” A lot of girls automatically assume that it’s our fault if a guy ghosts. We wonder what we could have done differently to make him stay, even when it’s all the guy’s douchey mentality that’s to blame. That being said, even guys wonder what they did wrong when a girl ghosts them. It’s a universal thing.
  5. “Was I not pretty enough?” You’d be surprised at how many girls wonder whether better looks would have improved the outcome. (Answer: Douche is as douche does, so no, better looks wouldn’t have helped.)
  6. Don’t you have any manners or courage?” Here’s the blunt truth about ghosting: it’s cowardly. It’s one of the rudest, most pathetic moves a guy can make. It’s hurtful, and builds resentment. After all, the dude didn’t even have enough respect to call things off via text. Ghosting just makes us want to call the guy out on his crap, you know?
  7. Why won’t you just answer a damned call and say you’re not interested?” I never understand this. It wouldn’t kill a guy to just say, “I’m not into you.” However, judging by how common ghosting is, you’d think guys believe women are all werewolves that turn into vicious animals the moment we hear that phrase.
  8. “Do you realize how hurtful this is?” I’m not 100% sure whether or not guys understand how hurtful ghosting really is. If they did understand it, would they still do it?
  9. “Can you please, like, not date?” Seriously, people who ghost are absolutely toxic to the dating pool. The dating pool already needs large doses of chlorine, so we’d all appreciate it if “ghosters” would just stop talking to people who actually deserve a good relationship. Guys, if you regularly ghost girls, can you do us all a favor and not talk to women anymore? That’d be great, mmkay?
  10. “How often is this supposed to happen before I’m allowed to get bitter?” If you’ve been ghosted or stood up multiple times, this will eventually be a question you’ll ask. How many times should a girl get ghosted before she’s allowed to throw her hands up in despair and quit? If this crap keeps happening, girls can and will end up giving up.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.