Coffee: It makes me feel better about waking up every morning because I know it’s in my near future. Many of us are hopelessly addicted to our daily Starbucks, but this innocent beverage could be the answer to all your first date problems. Tired of spending hours at a bar with a jerk and then having to shell out for your own three glasses of wine? No longer into giving up a Saturday evening for what will most likely be anything but a love connection? It’s time to embrace the coffee date, and there are a bunch of good reasons why you should start swapping your cocktails for vanilla lattes.
A coffee date is basically a pre-date. This is equally applicable to online dates and if you actually met in person, because let’s face it, it’s always awkward and a bit scary to sit across from someone for the first time. It may as well be done in the afternoon over a quick coffee. Then, if sparks are flying and you have stuff to talk about, you can always go for drinks another time, and as a bonus you can walk into that bar knowing that things will go pretty well.
Alcohol makes you tired. Caffeine wakes you up and allows you to be your best self. I don’t mean to sound super dramatic but without coffee I’m not sure I would be able to function every day. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who worries about how to fill those first date awkward silences. You know you should be relaxed on a first date but a cocktail will help you relax a little too much. But with the magic of caffeine, you will probably be bubblier than you usually are and will just start talking. This could be bad, of course, but if he’s the right guy he will find you adorable and want to see you again. And if he’s not into your babbling then guess what, he’s no fun at all.
You can always prolong the date. The best part of a 4 p.m. coffee date on a Sunday that actually goes well? You can suggest going for dinner, and then you’ve had an amazing date that lasts for several hours.
If you’re not into sex on the first date (or even the third), a coffee date gives you a buffer. There’s nothing wrong with going slow and taking things at your own pace. It can just get a little awkward if you’ve had an amazing first date and now it’s 2 a.m. and you really want something to happen but feel more comfortable waiting until next time. But with a coffee date, there’s no expectation of sex, so you’ll be in the clear. And you know that actually knowing someone before sex makes it that much more amazing.
A coffee date is honest: it’s a job interview, basically. There is nothing worse than asking someone questions in a crowded bar because it’s super obvious that this is a date (and probably a Tinder date, too). But in a sunny café on a weekend afternoon, asking those questions seems totally normal because hey, job interviews take place in coffee shops every day, and a first date involves a lot of interview-type questions. What does he do? What does he want to do? Where does he see himself in five years? Okay, maybe not that last one. But you get the idea.
If it sucks, you’ve wasted half an hour. Or maybe an hour. And not the entire evening. So you can actually do something fun tonight. Because we’ve all been there: the first date is going well, and two hours in, the guy turns out to be a crazy person, and there goes your Saturday night.
Post-coffee, you can go for a walk for an adorably romantic first date. Beer and nachos? So not romantic. But there’s something cute about walking around the city with a new romantic prospect. It’s not so cute at midnight when you’re wondering what’s the safest way to get home and are stressed about how to end the date.
It’s easy to make an escape. When you leave a drinks date early because things have taken a turn for the weird, it’s super obvious that you’re Just Not That Into Him. But it’s totally acceptable that you would have something to do in the afternoon. We all have busy lives, after all. So you can make a polite excuse.
And finally: if he orders tea, you know it’s not going to work out. It’s just a fact.
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