10 Reasons Getting Drunk At Home Is Better Than Drinking At A Bar

Going out to a bar to grab some drinks is fun when it finally becomes legal for you, but the thrill wears off after a while. You’ll probably get sick of all the typical bar BS eventually and lean more towards guzzling some booze at your own place. Your disturbingly energetic party animal friends might try to shame you for this. Hold your ground. Drinking at home is far better than drinking at bars.

1. You can use your own bathroom. Bar bathrooms are revolting. Women are supposed to be clean, tidy creatures, but this completely falls apart in bar bathrooms. It’s like those places are black holes that swallow decent behavior and common decency. Toilets are overflowing, toilet paper covers every inch of the floor and used tampons are shamelessly left out in the open like dirty socks hanging out of a hamper. As if all of the above wasn’t bad enough, bar bathrooms usually only have a few stalls and there’s often a line to use them. Your bathroom is much better than this dark magic. You can use it whenever you need it without waiting, and you don’t have to worry about faulty locks or puddles of vomit.
2. You don’t have to worry about your behavior. The worst part about drinking in public is probably waking up the next morning and cringing at your behavior the night before. Alcohol can perform miracles, but it’s also a sneaky shoulder devil that creates terrible memories that will haunt your dreams for years to come. When you drink at home, you don’t have to worry about any of that. If you behave like a jackass in your own home, it technically doesn’t count. Remember kids: it can’t be used as blackmail if no one sees it!
3. The atmosphere is more relaxing. You live here. This is your sanctuary. You have full control over the music, the smell, the food and other variables. A place like that is going to be much more relaxing than public places bursting at the seams with the unknown.
4. You can watch whatever you want. With cable and Netflix at your place, you won’t be forced to watch reruns of games you already saw. If you want to change what’s on the screen, you can do so without some angry drunk getting pissed or the staff rolling their eyes. Having control of the TV gives you enormous power and you should abuse this power to the fullest extent.
5. There’s no shortage of seating. Few things are worse than arriving at a bar when it’s insanely busy and being forced to stand around in awkward clusters while you wait for a table to open up. There are lots of places to park your ass at your own house, and you don’t have to worry about some idiot taking your spot when you leave for a few minutes to go to the bathroom. Plus, you can make use of your many blankets and pillows.
6. Pants are optional. Who doesn’t like drunkenly walking around in their underpants? Feeling a buzz and a breeze at the same time is fabulous. You know you’ve made it as an adult when you’re drinking pants-less and alone on a Friday night and you’re not someone who drinks a lot.
7. It’s cheaper. It’s dangerously easy to get talked into another round when you’re out at a bar. It’s fun until you get the triple-digit tab at the end of the night. You had an enjoyable evening, but you’re probably crying on the inside because you just blew your grocery fund for the week. When you drink at home, a certain amount of alcohol has to be purchased beforehand. You have a gigantic bottle that will probably last you for at least a few weeks. That will save your booze-happy butt a few bucks.
8. It’s quiet. Sometimes you just want to have a few drinks without music blasting in the background and/or screaming profanities at the bouncers. Getting drunk in quiet solitude is a strangely spiritual experience. It might just become a way of life for you.
9. You don’t have to fend off unwanted attention. With the exception of your cat, there are no pushy creepers at your place. ‘Nuff said.
10. You can invite whoever you want. You have no control over the crowd in bars. While it’s fun to fantasize about kicking obnoxious idiots out of the place, you are powerless to actually purge the bar of the undesirables. At your place, you’re the boss. Your guest list can be huge or nonexistent. It’s all up to you, and that will make for an excellent night.