You love receiving compliments from your boyfriend, and why wouldn’t you? They make you feel good and boost your ego while showing you that he not only notices you, he sees you. If your guy never compliments you, it can be disappointing. Why is it happening? Here are some reasons to consider and what you can do to deal with the issue.
- He’s got a different love language. Everyone has a love language, which is basically the way in which one shows their affection and care. For some people, giving gifts is a display of love; for others, kind words are. If you want compliments, chances are your love language is words of affirmation, but his might be something else. The best way to deal is to talk to him about this. You could even open the conversation with love languages to see where you’re both at.
- He doesn’t think you like them. If he used to give you compliments but you’d swat them away, such as by saying you’re actually not smart/beautiful/wise, he might’ve figured you don’t like what he has to say. Or, maybe it annoyed him when you treated the compliments in such a negative way, so he stopped. The best thing to do is talk to him about it and why you’ve been weird about compliments, before telling him that you do appreciate them.
- He’s become lazy. He might think, “Well, I’ve told her how awesome she is in the past so she knows. I don’t have to tell her all the time.” Um… While that might make sense to him, it can make you feel like you’re not being appreciated enough. You should tell him you love him or ask him what he thinks about compliments so you can see if he’s on cruise control in the relationship.
- He’s painfully shy. If you’ve just met or started dating and you’ve noticed that he’s really shy, this will make it more difficult for him to express what you mean to him such as by giving you compliments. Give him a bit of time so that he comes out of his shell. When he feels more comfortable around you, he’ll be able to express himself more.
- He’s a fader. If he used to give you compliments regularly but lately it’s like he doesn’t even notice when you’re in the room, you have to wonder why. Maybe he’s fading you out. Of course, if this is the case you’ll see other signs of it in your relationship, like that he’s going AWOL regularly. You’ve been warned…
- He doesn’t realize it’s a big deal. You might think that when he doesn’t compliment you for your job promotion or new hairstyle he’s being a jerk, but he might not really think it’s that much of a big deal. Again, compliments to some might be huge whereas others don’t really care about them. Notice how he reacts to being complimented because that will give you insight into what’s going on.
- He’s insecure. He might not be shy but insecure, and that’s what’s causing him to not give you compliments. Basically, he might feel that you’re getting compliments from people all the time about how pretty/smart/fashionable you are, so he figures you don’t need to hear the same words from him. The best thing to do is boost his confidence and show him that he means a lot to you.
- He shows you he values you. Now, maybe not receiving compliments isn’t something to get worked up about. Hear me out. Maybe your boyfriend shows you how special you are to him in other ways, like by making you tea when he knows you’ve had a rough day or popping a bottle of champagne when you’ve had a stellar one. Maybe you know he finds you sexy because of how he makes intense eye contact from across the room or rests his palm on your back. So, maybe you don’t really need to be told that you’re great.
- He’s taking you for granted. Maybe he’s started to take you for granted in the relationship so he doesn’t even notice you or the great things you do. This is not on and it’s a sure way to head for Breakup Lane. It’s time to work on rekindling that spark and showing each other how much you mean to each other.
- He’s toxic. Instead of giving you compliments, he’s the type of boyfriend who will bring you down by criticizing you. Woah, you don’t need this terrible energy in your life. The person you’re with should be uplifting you and making you see why you’re amazing, not making you doubt yourself. Instead of trying to change him, it’s best to walk away.