10 Reasons I’m Terrified Of My Upcoming Wedding

10 Reasons I’m Terrified Of My Upcoming Wedding ©iStock/verve231

Everybody gets cold feed before they get married — it’s totally normal, right? My wedding is seven months away and I’m beginning to panic. I know I’m making the right choice and that I want to spend the rest of my life with my guy, but that hasn’t stopped me from freaking out about these things:

  1. Committing to one person for the rest of my life. This probably seems like a pretty obvious reason to be afraid of a wedding, but seriously, who commits to one person for life? I mean, besides other married couples. It sounded like such a great idea until a few weeks ago. Now that level of commitment seems completely insane! Hopefully over the next few months, I’ll swing back around to the “love lasts a lifetime” camp. I believe me and my soon-to-be husband can make it, but there’s part of me that’s terrified we won’t.
  2. Sharing finances with another person. Okay, I know this seems silly, but it’s a huge fear for me. My fiance and I already discussed that we’ll have a joint bank account when we get married, but is that really a good idea? Do I want my husband seeing everything that I spend? I know he won’t be checking up on me, but I also don’t need him to realize just how bad my coffee habit is.
  3. People drowning at our wedding. Stick with me — I know this is an odd wedding day fear. Our venue has a pool and we’re not quite sure how to rope it off. The pool is between the eating area and the bar, so there’s no hiding it, either. It’s not deep, but I’m definitely panicking about the drunk who falls in or the couple who decide it’s the perfect spot for a little danger sex. I’d rather my wedding day not turn from a dream into a nightmare.
  4. Freaking out if things don’t go exactly as I hoped/planned. From what I understand, weddings rarely go exactly the way they’re supposed to — a supplier runs late or someone has too many glasses of champagne. That’s fine, but I’m a perfectionist, and as a perfectionist, I sometimes lose my rag when things aren’t going exactly the way they’re supposed to. What could possibly go wrong?
  5. Officially Becoming a Stepmom. Although I’ve known my step kids for four years and we get along great now, there’s something scary about officially becoming their stepmom. I feel like I’m way too young for that crap. Who becomes a stepmom at 27? I’m sure quite a lot of people, but I just never expected it to be me. Kids are a big responsibility and I’m afraid of messing it up somehow.
  6. Looking Like A Loner at my own wedding. We’re getting married in Spain and my friends pretty much all live in Texas. That’s a long way to go for one event. I totally get it, but I’m still scared of looking like a loner at my own wedding. My best friend is flying over and she’s more than enough, but I still get a little panicked when Facebook is awash with photos of blushing brides and their 12-15 bridesmaids.
  7. My Stepkids hating me and/or ruining our relationship. The kids are great and I know there’s no need to panic, but that’s not stopping me. They’re so excited about the wedding (the first one they’ve ever been to) but what if they hate it on the day? What if they wake up and decide they hate me and they ask us to cancel the whole thing? What if they suddenly realize that I’m too much younger than their dad? Seriously, I’m worried about this enough to mention it twice.
  8. The Huge Age Gap between me and my future husband. It’s 17 years. He joined the army when I was three — awkward. The giant age gap has never bothered either of us before, but what if we just haven’t noticed it yet? What if, on my wedding day, I suddenly open my eyes and he looks old? What if he wakes up and realizes that I’m practically a baby compared to him? That’s just creepy.
  9. Either one of us dying way too soon. A little morbid for a wedding fear, but it’s a real one. I love my fiance and I can’t wait to marry him, but then what if he dies? I’ve invested a lot of love in that man but if everything has an equal but opposite reaction, doesn’t that mean I’ll get a lot of pain if something happens to him? Is it worth it?
  10. Nobody Dancing. This is actually my biggest fear of all! I think that’s probably good news. The others worry me throughout the day, but this one keeps me up at night. We’ve all been to those weddings where nobody dances and we can all agree that they suck. I desperately don’t want my wedding to be one of those. Thankfully, my brother has some of the best (read: weirdest) dance moves out there and we’re having a few Colombian guests, so fingers crossed they flood the dance floor.
Aileen is a freelance writer and recovering perfectionist. When she was consumed by perfectionism, Aileen was always confused, angry and frustrated. At epistoleary.com she tries to help other women who feel the same because life after perfectionism is bloody great!