10 Reasons It’s Totally Okay That The Person You Like Isn’t Into You

There’s a reason most songs are about unrequited love. It sucks, yes, but luckily, it’s not the end of the world. In fact, it may be the catalyst you need to realize how great your life is without a romantic interest at all. Here’s why it’s for the best that the person you like isn’t into you:

  1. Your value has nothing to do with whether or not someone likes you. Long before you even knew this person existed, you were your strong, independent, unique self. Whether or not he wants to get with you has no effect on that. Your value as a human being is entirely separate from their interest or lack thereof. No matter what anyone thinks of you, you are complete and worthy of love all on your own.
  2. You should never have to be someone else in order to be loved. No matter how much you want to capture this person’s attention, remember that if they aren’t interested in you as you are, they won’t be interested in you pretending to be someone you aren’t. You may be tempted to tailor your personality or appearance to what you imagine they might be into, but this will only lead to pain in the end. You deserve someone who loves you for exactly who you are, and if this person doesn’t, they aren’t the right person for you.
  3. It gives you space to find someone who’s better suited to you. If they’re not into you, there are plenty more men out there who will be. It hurts that they aren’t reciprocating your feelings, but don’t let that prevent you from getting out there and finding someone who does. You’re too good to be wasted on someone who isn’t worth your time. Go find the person who goes weak at the knees every time your eyes meet.
  4. You don’t need someone else’s approval to feel good about yourself. It’s easy to mistake one person’s indifference with the objective truth, especially when it’s the opinion of a person you really like. But you have every reason to be proud and loving towards yourself. If you’re not there yet, maybe you should spend some time working your way towards a better self-image before looking for romance.
  5. The person who deserves you will fall for you without you having to lift a finger. Being rejected by someone doesn’t indicate that you need to change yourself, it means that you need to change the target of your romantic interest. The person you should be with is the one who is obsessed with the real you, not someone who requires you to change in order to be desired.
  6. Being single is actually a pretty great alternative. Being single may not seem like much of a consolation when you already know of a person you really want to date, but it may actually be the perfect solution to your predicament. When you’re single, you have the opportunity to reconnect with why you’re so great on your own. No matter how much you like this person, being single might be the exact thing you need right now.
  7. Your life is bigger than a romantic interest. Once you’ve adjusted to being single, you’ll start to realize how full your life is already. There are so many reasons to have a partner, but being in a relationship takes time and requires you to take your attention off the other things you love, like your family and the activities that make you feel most like yourself. Romantic relationships require a lot from a person, and often detract from the other parts of your life that you find most meaningful.
  8. You can’t force someone to be interested in you, and that’s actually pretty great. At some point, you realize that you cannot control everything, including whether or not a person is attracted to you. And while that may seem like a harsh truth, it can actually free you up to welcome whatever the universe sends your way with more openness than you had when you thought you had to control everything. Who knows what the future has in store for you?
  9. It’s good to get hurt sometimes. Being hurt in love means you care, and that is a beautiful thing. They’re not into you, and that’s painful, but take heart in the knowledge that your emotions run so deep. When you find the person who deserves and reciprocates your love, you will be able to love them like no one else can. It may not feel like it right now, but your feelings are a strength, not a weakness.
  10. Rejection makes you stronger. Success is gratifying, but you don’t learn from it. Failure teaches you how resilient you are, and when the failure is just someone who probably isn’t the person of your dreams anyway, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. There are plenty of people out there who will be into you, and the one who isn’t has reminded you that heartache and even embarrassment are not nearly as bad as you thought.
Rose Nolan is a writer and editor from Austin, TX who focuses on all things female and fabulous. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Theater from the University of Surrey and a Master's Degree in Law from the University of Law. She’s been writing professional since 2015 and, in addition to her work for Bolde, she’s also written for Ranker and Mashed. She's published articles on topics ranging from travel, higher education, women's lifestyle, law, food, celebrities, and more.