We all need jobs, but the road to actually getting one is littered with BS. The process is frustrating, full of winding twists and turns and very likely to rob you of your sanity by the end. in other words, job hunting straight up sucks for many reasons.
- Being unqualified for everything. You went to college, got your degree and have some experience but you still don’t measure up to all the requirements that employers ask for. It’s especially infuriating when you see a job opening that says “entry level” but then simultaneously requires you to have two years of experience. Entry level lies.
- Low-paying jobs. All of the jobs you’re capable of doing have terrible salaries. Even if you worked full time, it still wouldn’t be enough to get out of your parents’ basement. You might as well pack on 80 pounds and spend your days watching online sex and eating Cheetos so the transformation will be complete.
- Employers ignoring you. Many employers get dozens of applicants for just one position. They simply don’t have the time to sort through every single tedious resume that lands on their desks. If you don’t grab their attention in all the right ways immediately, they’ll move on to the next one. You’ll never hear from them and you’ll be left guessing what you did wrong or what you could have done better. It’s like they’re all trying to drive you into madness on purpose. Wily bastards.
- Writing a crap ton of cover letters. Part of you dies a little inside every time you see a job application that asks for a cover letter. Sure, it’s easy to tailor your cover letter to fit certain jobs once you have the basic framework of one done, but still…
- Stressful interviews. There are a ton of other candidates that are just as qualified or more qualified than you are for this job. You have one chance to prove yourself in a meeting with a person you’ve never met before. Fighting all of the other applicants to the death in an arena full of spiders and hazardous chemicals would be preferable to nerve-wracking interviews with uptight bosses.
- Boredom. Job hunting is dull as hell. It’s repetitive, frustrating and time-consuming. And, there are no guarantees at the end of it all. Most of the positions you apply for won’t work out, but there will be something out there for you somewhere. Your boredom is a necessary waste of time.
- Feeling useless. You’re full of energy and you want to get out there and do something with your life, but you’re just…stuck. Things have been at a standstill for some time and you feel like you’re never going to move forward. You feel like a loser for mooching off of your parents, but you have no choice. You are a reluctant leech attached to the underbelly of your family.
- Constantly fixing your resume. There are always better ways to word things and better fonts to use. Just when you think your resume is flawless, you find something that needs fixing and/or improving. That stupid piece of paper is going to haunt your dreams for eternity.
- Unsolicited advice from others. Everyone has an opinion on how you’re going about your job search. Your parents, who are still mentally trapped in the stone age, spew “helpful” suggestions at you all day and you want to scream, “THINGS AREN’T LIKE THAT ANYMORE!” Not helping, parents.
- Endless Internet searches. The Internet is a necessity for job hunters in this day and age. It’s the first place most people go when they begin their search. The internet is a great resource, but after hours and hours of sorting through every job board on the planet, you’re ready to become an alcoholic on purpose. Every website you visit brings up the same unobtainable jobs. You feel like the butt of a cruel joke that the entire internet is in on.
