Women have our own reasons for ending relationships with guys. Generally speaking, cheating, lying, or generally feeling neglected top the list. However, I know I’m not alone when I say I’ve always wondered what the biggest breakup motivators were for guys. To find out, I decided to ask some — here’s what they had to say.
1. The bad outweighs the good.
Men decide to end their relationships when there are more times that you’re fighting than you are having fun. When the bad times outweigh the good ones, most men think it’s time to call it quits. Why stay in a relationship that makes you miserable? As Verywell Mind points out, this kind of connection is toxic and it’s better off for both of you if it ends.
2. You were a placeholder.
A placeholder relationship is when one person is more committed than the other. In this example, the man is less committed than the woman, and he’s just in the relationship out of convenience, likely until he finds someone better. If he ends your relationship seemingly out of nowhere, he probably found her.
3. He’s just not that into you.
It may be a cliché now, but it still holds true. If a guy isn’t that into you or feels like you’re way more into him than he’s into you, he’s probably going to end things. Being with someone who likes you a lot more than you do them is just uncomfortable, and if he’s decent, he won’t want to lead you on. Psychology Today notes the damage being led on can cause, so be grateful for the dumping here!
4. You’re interfering with the rest of his life.
If your relationship is starting to negatively affect a man’s career, education, or relationships with his friends and family, he’s not likely to want to continue. Guys need fulfilling relationships with other people too, just like women do. If you’re too jealous or controlling, or you’re both just spending too much time together, it may start to impact his other relationships. If that happens, you may be the one who gets cut from the team, so to speak.
5. He can’t see himself marrying you.
There might be something about you or your relationship with him that he just doesn’t like and doesn’t want to endure for the rest of his life. Everyone has flaws, but if there’s a large issue in some part of your relationship that doesn’t seem like it’s going to get fixed, your guy might decide that he doesn’t want to argue about it every night for the rest of his life. Along the same line, if you have a personality trait or set of values that just don’t mesh well with his values or personality, this may be the reason he decides to break up with you.
6. You’re not who he thought you were.
Plenty of people begin dating with certain expectations or beliefs about who the person is, usually based on superficial things like social media or text messaging. Even the first several dates aren’t always a good gauge of a person’s true personality because most people are on their best behavior. If your new boyfriend suddenly breaks up with you, it could be because he thought you were a different type of person than you are. This could be because you presented yourself differently, or it could just be because his perception of you was off in the beginning.
7. You didn’t develop a deeper connection.
If you and your guy can’t ever get past the small talk stage, he might decide to find someone he can really connect with. Unfortunately, that isn’t you. You don’t have to have deep and meaningful conversations 24/7, but if you can’t have one at all, that’s a problem.
8. You’re too negative.
Men like to be in relationships that make them feel good. If your entire relationship consists of complaining about your co-workers or you’re constantly in a bad mood, he may decide that he doesn’t want to be around your negativity all the time. Staying positive around negative people is hard, Headspace points out, so it’s better to avoid them altogether.
9. He got too angry.
Sometimes you get in a fight and no one is willing to calm down and listen to the other person. If a guy gets too angry about a situation, he may dump you in the heat of the moment. Only time will tell whether he actually meant it or not and how long he’s going to stay angry about it.
10. Something else in his life needs more attention.
Maybe he has to move out of state, a family member is ill, or he got a new job. Sometimes there are just things in life that take all of our time and mental energy, and if you can’t be supportive or go with him, you’ll end up as collateral damage. Not your fault, but it happens.
11. Your feelings are stronger than his.
It’s not that he doesn’t like you, it’s just that he doesn’t like you as much as you like him. When a guy recognizes that your feelings are way ahead of his and he doesn’t think you’ll ever be on the same page, he’s way more likely to cut ties before things get any more serious (or uncomfortable for him).
12. He wants to keep his options open.
He likes dating you, but the long you’re “together,” the more he realizes that he misses finding out what else is out there. If you’re not into open relationships and he’s unwilling to completely shut down possible connections with other women, he might just let you go so he can continue playing the field.
13. Something you did gave him the ick.
This is weird but true. Sometimes the most random things can turn a guy off in the blink of an eye. It’s probably not anything major, either — it’s more likely a weird quirk of his that you have to pay the price for. If he’s that easily put off you, it’s clearly not meant to be.
