10 Reasons You Need A Relationship Before You Actually Want One

They say you can’t have it all, but you feel like you already do. Your life is pretty great, actually. You have fun best friends, an awesome fam, a career that you love. You just don’t have the guy (yet). You’re okay with being single, at least for now – your life is good, so why rock the boat? You probably think that dating is way too much effort or that you’ve experienced enough heartbreak that trying again is just not worth it. The problem is, if you keep thinking that way, then you’re definitely, 100 percent going to end up alone, and while it’s fine today, it might not be so cool tomorrow. Of course, if you truly are someone who envisions yourself rolling solo for life, there’s nothing wrong with it. However, that’s simply not the case for most of us, no matter how much we wish it was. Here are 10 reasons why you need to be in a relationship before you desperately want one.

  1. You’re alone, not lonely (yet). As many single girls know, there’s a massive difference between being okay with spending time with yourself and being super lonely. It’s probably not possible to be single for years without experiencing at least a few uncomfortable twinges of loneliness. So do yourself a favor and find a boyfriend before you’re actually sad about having an evening alone to do nothing but catch up on Pretty Little Liars. Yeah, eventually that’s going to seem like an awful time.
  2. Life gets in the way. We don’t always have time to date (shocking, I know). If your schedule is pretty wide open right now, take advantage of it and embark on your search for someone special. You don’t want to wait two years until you’re sick of being single but work is so nuts you have zero energy to do anything except your job.
  3. It will be better than you think. Some people are pretty anti-relationship. They’re tired of dating too many jerks or scared to get hurt, so they favor casual over commitment. But being in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean you’ll have zero fun ever again. Actually, it means you have someone to share your life with, which means everything you do will be twice as fun (cheesy yet true). So relax and look forward to the day that you’re cool with committing to someone.
  4. Soon everyone will be coupled up. Okay, so you don’t want to get a boyfriend just because all your friends have one. That would be super boring. But if you’re in your mid-20s, you’re going to be 30 someday pretty soon and that’s typically when people start going engagement and baby obsessed. Not that you have to do those things – of course not. But do you really want to still be the single girl when every single one of your BFFs is happy and in love? Probably not.
  5. You deserve love. We all do. You may not want to get super vulnerable, but you’ll be so glad you did. No one ever regrets falling in love, they just regret being too freaked out to even try. Don’t be that person and you might end up surprising yourself.
  6. You’re not coming from a place of total desperation. We all have that one friend who is basically the definition of desperate. She always needs to have a boyfriend and you know she never even likes any of them, she just cares about how it looks to other people. Cringe. But you’re nothing like that, because you’re okay being on your own. You’re actually in the best possible place to meet someone because you’re going to want to be with the next guy you hit it off with. It’ll be your choice and you won’t be doing it for any other reason than the fact that you like him.
  7. You can focus on how you feel. When you start feeling pressured about finding the love of your life, that can really mess with your head and make you wonder if guys you’re going on first dates with like you. But if you’re cool with being single for the time being, then you can really focus on whether you’re into the guy and how you really feel. It’s an awesome position to be in.
  8. Timing is weird. People like to say that bad timing is why some relationships crash and burn, but I’ve always found that kind of boring. If you want to be with someone, I totally believe you will try to make it work. So that means you’ll probably end up meeting a guy who’s actually boyfriend material when you’re just about ready to give up on dating altogether thanks to your career. You’ll end up in a committed relationship before you want one but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t explore it.
  9. Wanting a BF can be annoying. Let’s just be honest here. When you reach a place where you hate spending your evenings alone in front of the TV, or when you leave dinner with your best friend and come home to an empty apartment, you’re going to feel itchy and comfortable all over. So you might as well find a boyfriend before you reach that place.
  10. It’ll be good for you. We tend to focus on all the awful stuff that can result from love, like wallowing for weeks after a bad break-up. But relationships are good for us, too. They teach us stuff about ourselves we would never know otherwise, and can bring us the type of joy that we only dream about. So why not give yourself that chance?
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.