10 Reasons A Secret Relationship Can Be A Major Turn-On

Although studies have found that secret relationships don’t last, that doesn’t mean they’re not a good time while they’re happening. Just the idea of an undercover liason is enough to entice anyone to drop what they’re doing and go looking for something a little shady and definitely sexy. But what makes a secret relationship such a turn-on? Well, there are a few different factors:

  1. Having a secret is hot. As I wrote in that first paragraph, when it comes to secrets, nothing is hotter than ones involving sex. Having had a couple secret relationships in my my past, it was always fun to have a little something that was all my own and no one else knew anything about it.
  2. You become a woman of mystery. You’re suddenly dashing out for long lunches at work or meeting up with someone whose name you can’t divulge to anyone, and your friends are forced to wonder what the hell is going on. You become the talk of the town.
  3. Forbidden fruit is extra sweet. You know why Eve ate that damn apple? Because she knew that in being off limits it was going to be the most delicious fruit in the world. If you have a secret relationship, it’s definitely because you’re trying to hide something that you know you’re not supposed to have.
  4. It’s like living in a fantasy world. Actually, it is a fantasy world! There’s no room for reality when it comes to secret relationships, because you’re off in your own little world of fantasies and that’s the point.
  5. There’s a thrill in getting away with something. Whenever anyone does anything “bad,” it’s always exciting to know that you got away with it. In getting away with keeping your secret relationship quiet, you’re just revving up the hot factor.
  6. It’s great foreplay. I’ve found that when you’re having a secret relationship with a coworker or a friend and you’re forced to play cool in social situations, it makes for great foreplay. You do this sort of dance around each other playfully, knowing that you have a secret between you that no one else could possibly guess.
  7. It makes for great sex. To be honest, even mediocre sex is great when it’s a secret. The secrecy alone makes up for any shortcomings your partner might have in bed.
  8. You get to be sneaky. If you’re keeping your relationship quiet, you need to rely on shady places and shady disguises. Who doesn’t want to meet up at a diner on the “wrong” side of town for their “bad” behavior, possibly while wearing a Marilyn Monroe wig?
  9. You get to be someone other than you. With secret relationships, you don’t have to play by the rules. You get to be whatever and whoever you want. Your relationship is not part of your real life, so it’s the prefect setting to let your freak flag fly and fly high.
  10. You know it’s not going to last. Secret relationships cannot stand the test of time, otherwise they wouldn’t be a secret, right? Since that’s the case, another reason secret relationships are such a turn on is because they’re fleeting. You don’t have time to get bored or disappointed, and you know you need to make the most of it while you have it.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.