If you’ve ever been in a pinch for money, you might have considered getting a sugar daddy. Having a mutually beneficial arrangement with an older man can be a positive experience with the right person, but there can still be a lot of not-so-sweet situations that pop up in your sugar relationship.
He probably has a lot of baggage. Sugar daddies are usually looking to have a relationship that’s kept separate from their everyday lives. Most of the time you spend together should be fun, but you might end up with a SD that brings his personal life into your relationship. Mine would constantly talk about his guilt surrounding our relationship (not fun at all) or his problems at home. I signed up for dinners, shopping, fun, and some cash—definitely not a middle-aged man’s personal problems.
Sometimes you have to deal with his BS. If you get a SD that likes to overshare on his personal life, it can be a drag. Mine used to regularly talk about his marriage problems, his guilt, and work stress. As a sugar baby, you’re supposed to help make your sugar daddy feel good, so if he needs to vent or wants someone to help him forget work stress, then that’s totally reasonable. However, some things definitely cross a line; problems at home are off limits in my book.
He may not always perform well. Your SD is likely to be significantly older than you, so don’t expect him to be quite as in shape as you are. Depending on your preferences, you might meet a guy in his 40s that’s still relatively in shape. If you aren’t too picky, be prepared for a much older and much less impressive performer in the bedroom (if this is an aspect of your relationship).
He’s too needy for attention. Some men are going to be very particular about when and how they talk to you. In my experience, communication can be quite frequent as well. My SD texts me regularly at most hours of the day. I don’t mind it, but I’d prefer to not feel like he’s a constant presence during my day. I’d like to not be constantly buzzing with texts when I’m trying to have fun with my friends or on a date.
He says he’ll help and then doesn’t. A typical SD is going to have a mutually beneficial arrangement with you. Sure, it’s great if you guys have a certain level of friendship, but there have to be some perks. Whether it be dinners, shopping trips, or cash allowances, it’s nice to get gifts from your SD. Unfortunately, there’s always a chance he might flake. At times my SD will say that he’ll help with money and then doesn’t follow through and makes an excuse. It’s times like that that make me want to end our relationship altogether.
He sometimes makes me feel guilty for asking. I’ve had some pretty tough times in which I’ve turned to my SD to help me make ends meet. It’s great when he helps, but sometimes he makes me feel guilty for needing it. First of all, money isn’t a worry for him, so why does it matter if I need a couple hundred bucks? Second, we agreed to be mutually beneficial—don’t expect me to stick around if you can’t keep up your end of the deal.
He may skip out on plans. There have been times that we’d planned a dinner and/or shopping and I was really looking forward to it, only for him to cancel last minute. Sure, I understand he has his own life and that has to come first, but sometimes it really sucks when it’s a matter of his guilt or his mood and he’s just “not feeling it.” Wow, show some appreciation here! It comes back to both parties needing to keep up the agreement, and flaking too many times is not OK.
His views and beliefs can be vastly different. We’re generally able to get along really well and have a great time, but certain topics are serious triggers for us and sometimes I get really mad. We’ve argued about everything from trans people (he doesn’t accept that you can change your sex) to politics (like being a Trump supporter). In the world of SDs, good ones are hard to come by. Sometimes you have to make compromises, and it’s often going to be a compromise on having any common views or beliefs.
He’s a privileged wealthy man with a sense of entitlement. My SD spent time in the military and worked his way up at his company to earn his wealth, which is admirable. However, I can’t help but get so annoyed sometimes. He can be classist and is sometimes judgmental of my financial struggles. It’s so annoying when I say I’m impressed that he owns his house, his multiple cars, and has huge savings and he acts like that’s normal. I get so mad because there are so many people who struggle just to make ends meet. I just want him to acknowledge that not everyone gets to live a great life like the one he’s built.
Of course, it’s not all bad. Despite the struggles, like not seeing eye to eye on politics, age discrepancies, and all the baggage, there are plenty of perks to having a sugar daddy. It will vary depending on your SD, but hopefully it will also develop into a good friendship or mentorship. There is give and take in all relationships, but overall, the time and effort put into a sugar relationship is worth the reward (at least for me).
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