10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Have A Sugar Daddy (And A Few Reasons You Should)

If you’ve ever been in a pinch for money, you might have considered getting a sugar daddy. Having a mutually beneficial arrangement with an older man can be a positive experience with the right person, but there can still be a lot of not-so-sweet situations that pop up in your sugar relationship.

  1. He probably has a lot of baggage. Sugar daddies are usually looking to have a relationship that’s kept separate from their everyday lives. Most of the time you spend together should be fun, but you might end up with a sugar daddy that brings his personal life into your relationship. Mine would constantly talk about his guilt surrounding our relationship (not fun at all) or his problems at home. I signed up for dinners, shopping, fun, and some cash—definitely not a middle-aged man’s personal problems.
  2. Sometimes you have to deal with his BS. If you get a sugar daddy that likes to overshare on his personal life, it can be a drag. Mine used to regularly talk about his marriage problems, his guilt, and work stress. As a sugar baby, you’re supposed to help make your sugar daddy feel good, so if he needs to vent or wants someone to help him forget work stress, then that’s totally reasonable. However, some things definitely cross a line; problems at home are off-limits in my book.
  3. He may not always perform well. Your sugar daddy is likely to be significantly older than you, so don’t expect him to be quite as in shape as you are. Depending on your preferences, you might meet a guy in his 40s that’s still relatively in shape. If you aren’t too picky, be prepared for a much older and much less impressive performer in the bedroom (if this is an aspect of your relationship).
  4. He’s too needy for attention. Some men are going to be very particular about when and how they talk to you. In my experience, communication can be quite frequent as well. My sugar daddy texts me regularly at most hours of the day. I don’t mind it, but I’d prefer to not feel like he’s a constant presence during my day. I’d like to not be constantly buzzing with texts when I’m trying to have fun with my friends or on a date.
  5. He says he’ll help and then doesn’t. A typical SD is going to have a mutually beneficial arrangement with you. Sure, it’s great if you guys have a certain level of friendship, but there have to be some perks. Whether it be dinners, shopping trips, or cash allowances, it’s nice to get gifts from your SD. Unfortunately, there’s always a chance he might flake. At times my SD will say that he’ll help with money and then doesn’t follow through and makes an excuse. It’s times like that that make me want to end our relationship altogether.
  6. He sometimes makes me feel guilty for asking. I’ve had some pretty tough times in which I’ve turned to my SD to help me make ends meet. It’s great when he helps, but sometimes he makes me feel guilty for needing it. First of all, money isn’t a worry for him, so why does it matter if I need a couple hundred bucks? Second, we agreed to be mutually beneficial—don’t expect me to stick around if you can’t keep up your end of the deal.
  7. He may skip out on plans. There have been times that we’d planned a dinner and/or shopping and I was really looking forward to it, only for him to cancel last minute. Sure, I understand he has his own life and that has to come first, but sometimes it really sucks when it’s a matter of his guilt or his mood and he’s just “not feeling it.” Wow, show some appreciation here! It comes back to both parties needing to keep up the agreement, and flaking too many times is not OK.
  8. His views and beliefs can be vastly different. We’re generally able to get along really well and have a great time, but certain topics are serious triggers for us and sometimes I get really mad. We’ve argued about everything from trans people (he doesn’t accept that you can change your sex) to politics (like being a Trump supporter). In the world of sugar daddies, good ones are hard to come by. Sometimes you have to make compromises, and it’s often going to be a compromise on having any common views or beliefs.
  9. He’s a privileged wealthy man with a sense of entitlement. My sugar daddy spent time in the military and worked his way up at his company to earn his wealth, which is admirable. However, I can’t help but get so annoyed sometimes. He can be classist and is sometimes judgmental of my financial struggles. It’s so annoying when I say I’m impressed that he owns his house, his multiple cars, and has huge savings and he acts like that’s normal. I get so mad because there are so many people who struggle just to make ends meet. I just want him to acknowledge that not everyone gets to live a great life like the one he’s built.
  10. Of course, it’s not all bad. Despite the struggles, like not seeing eye to eye on politics, age discrepancies, and all the baggage, there are plenty of perks to having a sugar daddy. It will vary depending on your sugar daddy, but hopefully, it will also develop into a good friendship or mentorship. There is give and take in all relationships, but overall, the time and effort put into a sugar relationship is worth the reward (at least for me).

If you do want a sugar daddy, it does have its benefits

If you do think this kind of arrangement can work for you, it can be a positive experience so long as you do it right. Here are some of the upsides to expect.

  1. You’ll never have to stress about money. Being low on cash is incredibly stressful, but when you have a sugar daddy, you’ll never need to worry about that. He’ll take care of making sure your bills are paid and you can put food on the table, plus you’ll likely have some extra in the bank on top of your necessities to spend on whatever you’d like. No more wondering how you’re going to find the cash to pay your rent because your sugar daddy will be on top of it.
  2. You’ll be showered with gifts on a regular basis. In addition to having your financial needs taken care of, you’ll also be showered with presents pretty much daily when you have a sugar daddy. He’ll get off on spoiling you with all the fancy clothes and accessories you could ever dream of. You’ll literally feel like royalty around him.
  3. You’ll have sex whenever you want it. Just because men are the ones known for having a high libido doesn’t mean women don’t want to get laid too. When you have a sugar daddy, sex is on tap wherever and whenever you want it. He’ll love that you want him so much and you’ll have experiences in the bedroom that will likely blow your mind. What’s not to love?
  4. You might get to travel the world. Depending on how well-off your sugar daddy is and what his work and life situations are, you might end up traveling to some amazing locales with him. He could jet you off to Paris for the weekend or take you on a luxury Caribbean vacation. You just never know what corner of the world he’ll invite you to explore with him.
  5. It’s all the fun of a relationship with zero drama. When you have a sugar daddy, it’s like getting to enjoy all the best parts of having a boyfriend with none of the responsibilities. You’re not his girlfriend, so he has no real say over where you go and what you do. And, because your arrangement will have very particular parameters, you’re pretty much free to do whatever you want when you’re not together.
Zoe is a scientist, freelance writer and blogger in Arizona. She enjoys writing about travel, dating, and lifestyle. She loves the outdoors, cooking homemade vegan meals, and connecting with women in STEM. You can check out her travel blog at www.sandoverseas.co.