Every single girl has heard the typical “You’ll find love when you least expect it” reassurances from friends and family who are just trying to help. Really, they mean well. They know that awful, desperate feeling you sometimes have when you think about how long it’s been since you went on a promising date. But they also know that obsessing over when and where you’re going to meet someone isn’t helping anything. It’s like staring at the clock, willing the seconds to go by faster. It just doesn’t work. So, while “putting yourself out there” is necessary and everything, there’s also no harm in putting your love life on cruise control and focusing on other things for awhile. Maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised and love will find you while you’re busy having a life.
You have to love yourself first.
If you want to attract the right kind of guy for you, you have to accept who you are first. You want a guy who is confident, successful, and content, right? Then you have to be all those things too, or at least actively working towards them.
Guys can smell desperation a mile away.
You think you’re being subtle when you latch onto any guy who shows the tiniest interest in you, but you’re not. No guy is looking for a woman with “my clock is ticking” practically tattooed on her forehead.
Your friendships could use the attention.
Why not spend all your extra socializing time hanging out with your friends? The best way to date is to meet someone through mutual friends anyway, so start reminding those friends what a catch you are and they’ll probably think of you next time they go all matchmaker.
Finding love isn’t like finding a job.
You can’t just send out a hundred resumes and hope one or two of them get back to you. Online dating can feel a bit like you’re applying for the role of girlfriend sometimes, and it can get discouraging. So try not to look at it that way. Just live your life and the right guy will come along naturally.
You should enjoy the single life.
You get to do whatever you want, whenever you want. You don’t have to check in with anyone, and you can flirt shamelessly with the bartender at your local watering hole without worrying it’ll get back to your boyfriend.
You don’t need a man to complete you.
The whole a couple is two halves of a whole thing is complete BS. You shouldn’t be searching for your other half, you should be searching for an entire person who will compliment and support your entire person.
There are a lot of worthwhile relationships to be had with people who aren’t exactly your soul mate.
If you’re only open to and looking for the love of your life, you won’t want to give any of your time to someone you might be able to have a lot of fun with in other ways.
You’ll end up settling.
If finding love is your #1 priority, you’ll could find yourself rationalizing a guy’s not-so-great qualities just so you can settle down and not have to look anymore. And you can guess how well that will turn out in the long run.
You can’t force it.
Just like settling will never make you happy, forcing love to happen will never work. It’s not a decision you can make, and a goal to work towards. You have to let go of control, and let it happen.
Love doesn’t always feel the same way.
Even if you’ve be in love before, you have no idea what it will feel like the next time you fall in love. The situation will be different, the person will be different, and you will be different. So how can you go out searching for something you’ve never experienced? You won’t even know you’ve found it until it’s too late and you’re already head over heels.
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