10 Reasons To Skip The First Date Hook-Up Session

These days, you don’t need to be in a relationship to enjoy some good sex. If you meet a new guy and want to sleep with him on the first night, you can do that, and no one can say crap about it. However, just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should, and you might be better skipping the first date hook-up session.

  1. You don’t owe him anything. You have every right to hook-up on a first date if that’s what you legitimately want, but you also have every right to say no if you’re not feeling it. He may have bought you dinner (or not), but you don’t owe him anything, especially not sex.
  2. It’ll probably be awkward as hell. Have you done this before? Do you know the protocol? What about him? What’s his history with sex on the first date? You have to know when to leave, how you’re getting home, and how to leave things. You didn’t go home with some random at the bar, so what happens next?
  3. You’ll probably rule out the possibility of a second date. The jerk who nails and bails isn’t worth your time, but it may just be you not wanting the second date. If the sex is bad, you likely won’t be going back for more anytime soon, and you could miss out on a great guy.
  4. You don’t actually know each other. At least not yet, and if you’re not in sync, how can you expect to have mind-blowing sex? You might have clicked initially, but you can’t form a real connection seconds after meeting each other. Chemistry might be instantaneous, but finding your rhythm physically can take time, especially if your emotions need some catching up.
  5. You might not be on the same page. One of you could be thinking it’s just a hook-up while the other is foreseeing a change in relationship status down the line. How did the date go really? Sex isn’t always a good indication of whether things were good or bad. Sometimes sex is just physical, so make sure you and your partner are on the same page.
  6. You’ll build some serious sexual tension by waiting. Everything up until your first time is foreplay. The longer you wait, the more the tension will build. When you’re finally ready to meet the man beneath the sheets, you’ll be rewarded with some seriously mind-blowing passion.
  7. He might get clingy. It was the first date, and choosing not to take it slow physically might speed things up emotionally, too. You never know how he’ll react to your amazing skills in bed, so be prepared for the possibility of a stage five clinger.
  8. It’s meaningless, and you deserve more. At this point, your body is way ahead of your heart. If all you want is some meaningless sex with an almost stranger, then go for it. But if you have even the tiniest desire for it to be more than just sex, you’ll be left confused and disappointed.
  9. It won’t fix your insecurities. If you lack self-confidence, meaningless sex isn’t going to give you the satisfaction you’re looking for. Some women use sex to feel better about themselves. Feeling wanted makes them feel worthy, well for a second it does. That moment of self-assurance is fleeting, because what you really need to find is self-worth completely unrelated to the male species.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.