Sexting isn’t just something teens do. In fact, an online survey by Drexel University’s Women’s Health Psychology Lab found that 88% of respondents who said they had sexted at least once were adults (18-82). The survey counted sexting as either sexual messages, images or both. While many people think of sexting as something that breaks up committed relationships, it’s refreshing to find that high levels of sexting actually improved sexual satisfaction in all couple types outside of “very committed.”
A surprising 74% of respondents said they were in a relationship. This means sexting isn’t just about flirting with a potential hookup or a crush. It’s two adults in a new or established relationship using sexting to help spice up their love life. So why weren’t “very committed” couples benefiting more? Many of those couples already have other ways of randomly spicing things up and have worked hard to create a strong, happy relationship both inside and outside the bedroom.
So, if you were looking for reasons to start sexting, this study might be just the push you need. If you need more reasons, I’ve got you covered too.
- Build tension while you’re apart. Being apart doesn’t mean you can’t get all hot and bothered. Imagine if you have to be apart for a week. Each night you sext for an hour before bed. By the time you’re together again, the sexual tension is so thick you can’t help but jump each other the moment you see each other. Even if you’re only apart for a day, it’s still fun to build up that tension and leave him wanting more.
- Share fantasies you’re afraid to say out loud. When it comes to a text, you’re often braver than if you had to say the words out loud. It’s one of the reasons so many people break up via text. Do you have some fantasy you’ve been dying to try, but aren’t sure how your man will respond? Try sexting the fantasy first. It’s a safer way to explore your fantasies and see if your man gets into it or not.
- Remind him you want him. Men aren’t the only ones who think about sex often. We do it too. One of the sexiest things you can do for your guy is to remind him how much you want him. If he’s been a little less than enthusiastic about sex lately, some intense sexting could be just the thing to remind him he’s wanted and exactly what you want to do to him.
- Words are even more stimulating. Nudes are one of the main reasons women hate sexting. You never have to send a photo. Words are even more stimulating. He could see you naked anytime. Creating a visual with your words lets his mind see anything he wants. It’s hot and he’ll be dying to strip you down the next time you’re together.
- Flirt and tease secretly. Sometimes you’re stuck in a semi-public place and can’t exactly call up your man and flirt and tease him. Sexting lets you get down and dirty even if you’re spending the weekend with your parents and he’s off with his friends. It’s your own secret way to make sure he’s thinking only of you.
- Breaks you out of a rut. Has your love life gotten a little routine or you’ve hit a dry spell with your guy? Not a problem. Sexting is completely different than what you’ve been doing. You can take it slow and get a little more explicit as you go along. It also brings out new fantasies for you to try in the bedroom.
- Serves as pre-foreplay. I say pre-foreplay because it’s still nice to have some actual foreplay before the he just starts thrusting away. Are you planning a late date? Sext a little throughout the day. It’ll have you both skipping dinner and wanting dessert instead. It’s like getting double the foreplay and you both end up happy.
- Learn what each of you really want. When you’re actually having sex, you rely on sounds and movements to best understand what is and isn’t working. With sexting, you only have words. It forces you to say how and where you want to be touched and when. Think of it as an insider’s guide to finally understanding what your partner wants most in bed.
- It can happen whenever you want. Okay, so the best part of sexting is it can happen whenever, wherever. I do recommend not doing it when either of you is at work or with family and friends. Neither of you wants to have co-workers, relatives or friends reading those texts. A little privacy is best, especially if you want to get a little hands on in the process.
- Trying something new always helps. One of the best ways to spice up your love life is to just try something new. You don’t really have anything to lose by sexting. Like I said, you don’t have to send any images, so you don’t have to worry about any nudes leaking online. Try it a few times and see if it works for your relationship.
I’ll admit that sexting isn’t for everyone, but based on the Drexel University study, the majority of adults have at least tried it. The best thing that happens is it drastically improves your sex life. At worst, nothing changes and you both laugh at the attempt.