He was such a great boyfriend when you were together, but then you broke up with him and he seemed to turn into a jerk overnight. Where did the guy go and why is he being like this? It’s likely you barely recognize him anymore and it’s completely unnerving. Here’s what could be going on with him.
- He’s totally burnt by you. Maybe the breakup blindsided him or he was hoping that you guys would work out your issues and stay together, but it didn’t happen. Either way, he’s pissed off and totally hurt. This is why he gives you one-word answers when you ask if you can swing by to pick up your things from his place. He might not actually be acting like a jerk – as long as he doesn’t become mean, try to cut him some slack.
- He can’t have you anymore. A guy might become a jerk and start being a bit snotty towards you because he’s angry that he won’t be able to have you anymore. Since you’re choosing to walk away, he’s going to let you know that he’s not happy about it. His ego’s bruised and he’s being immature about that.
- He’s trying to spite you. Some exes become really nasty. Like, really. He might be one of them, even if you didn’t think that he would ever be that way. He might block you on social media, ignore your calls or texts, and perhaps even spread rumours about you around town. What a jerk.
- He was never a good guy. Okay, here’s a truth bomb: he was never the super-great guy that you thought he was. He just seemed that way because he was with you and he had what he wanted. Now that things have changed, he’s letting his true colors come out and they aren’t pretty. This is a really tough truth to digest because it makes you feel like you never really knew the guy even though you dated him.
- He’s feeling exposed. If you walked away from the relationship because he was such a bad guy to you and you knew you deserved more from a relationship, good for you. Why’s he being such a brat now, though? Well, he’s feeling exposed for what he really is – read: toxic – and he can’t handle it. Not your problem. Keep walking away…
- He was in denial. If he got his hopes up that he could make you stay and make you love him again, he might be in denial now that things are officially over forever. Basically, he’s become a bit of a jerk because he just can’t deal with the rude awakening. It’s no excuse just because he’s late to the party, though. That’s his own doing.
- He’s hurt and trying to hurt you. It’s one thing for him to be hurt and perhaps hide away for a while, but it’s quite another thing for him to try to hurt you. He’s clearly jealous of the fact that you’re happy without him and that you chose to walk away and feel good with your decision, so he’s trying to drag you down into the misery.
- He can’t handle the word no. This is a huge red flag that you might’ve noticed when you were still dating the guy. If he can’t handle that you said no to a future with him and walked away, it can make him lose his cool. He might keep getting in touch to tell you why you’re to blame for everything that went wrong, or he might be trying to get you back by persuading you to take him back, over and over again. When you don’t agree, he turns on you. He’s got issues and he needs a psychologist, not a girlfriend.
- He’s acting childish. If the guy can’t handle the breakup and it’s making him turn into the meanest guy in the world, he’s clearly childish. He doesn’t have to be irritable and moody with you, almost as a way to make you feel guilty for deciding to prioritize your happiness over the relationship. Grow up.
- The breakup was nasty. Perhaps the breakup was really hostile. You both said horrible things to each other and things got seriously ugly. He might be a jerk now because he’s so done with the drama and just wants to walk away. He’s over you and everything. Good, because it makes it easier for you to do the same thing. Adios!
