The beginning of the year is usually a great time for introspection, thinking about how to improve yourself, advance your career, or finally kick that bad habit. Why not redirect some of that energy towards your relationship? Here are some resolutions you can make as a couple to make 2020 your healthiest and happiest relationship year yet.
- Schedule time to connect with your partner daily. Most people tend to just go with the flow, hoping for free time to fall into their laps so they spend it with their partner. In 2020, you should be intentional about creating time for your partner. Earmark 30 or more minutes in your calendar every day and spend it talking about your day, what you’re looking to that week, and other light and breezy topics.
- Take date night seriously. One of the main reasons my last relationship ended was because we stopped dating each other after we got together. We settled into routines and going out to spend time together didn’t seem like much of a priority anymore. Date night is extremely important. Block out time once a week or bi-weekly to get to know each other more and shower each other with attention.
- Ask each other more questions. At the end of the day when you ask each other how things went, it’s easy to say or hear “It was okay. I’m tired,” and just leave it at that. Strive to be a little more curious, prompt each other to open up and communicate better. Ask why they’re tired or what they could have done to make that meeting better—and pay attention to the responses.
- Do something new together every month. Asides from date night, your relationship would benefit from spending time together doing something that takes a break from your routine. It could be taking dance lessons, learning a new language, traveling somewhere you’ve never been, or singing a duet at karaoke night. Take turns picking the adventure of the month. You’ll make new and amazing memories you’ll treasure for a long time.
- Prioritize intimate times. At the beginning of the relationship, it can be pretty hard to keep your hands off each other, but that desire can fade after a while. In fact, you may find yourselves being too busy or too tired to have sex. Instead of leaving things to chance or waiting for the other person to initiate, you should both block out time in your calendar to give and receive pleasure. Try to shake things up while you’re at it. Ask each other about your sex goals and work towards them.
- Compliment and appreciate each other more often. Focusing on the reasons you love and cherish your partner will make it easier to deal with their flaws. Be grateful for the little things they do that are easy to take for granted. Turn down the criticism and practice complimenting them. Say thank you more often and tell them you love them every day. It will remind you both how much you care about each other even when things are rough.
- Designate time for monthly money talks. Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict between couples. It can be intimidating or uncomfortable to talk about your finances, but if you’re planning on building a life together, you definitely should. Sit down once or twice a month and discuss the state of your finances and how you can help each other earn or save more. You’ll feel more connected and inspired to develop yourselves because of it.
- Practice emotional honesty. Relationships suffer when you feel things and don’t talk about them until resentment sets in. Yes, being honest about what you’re feeling makes you vulnerable, but isn’t that what love is about? This year, make serious effort to keep things real—tactfully, of course—and break down the brick walls you’ve put up out of fear.
- Practice kindness. Maybe you’re already doing a lot to show each other you care, but are doing it the way your partner wants? Different people need to be shown affection in different ways. Learn your partner’s love language to avoid getting it wrong. You will forge stronger bonds and be able to meet each other’s emotional needs.
- Turn off your screens and be more present. When you’re spending time with your partner, focus on giving them attention and making them feel special. Surfing social media or reading articles on your phone or other devices is not the way to do it. You’re subtly telling them they’re not as important as whatever it is you’re doing. Resolve to work on your screen addictions and just enjoy being in the moment with your partner.
