A misogynist is a person who hates, dislikes, or is prejudiced against women. And sadly, there are many more misogynists around than there should be. The good news is, though, that misogynists are fairly easy to spot. Check out the signs that you might be dating a misogynist so that you can get out ASAP.
- He demeans other women, even if he’s nice to you. Of course it’s important to pay attention to how your date treats you. But sometimes, the way he treats others is even more telling. Especially if you’ve only been dating for a while, he’ll probably be as charming as possible to try and impress you. Whereas, the way he treats people he’s not trying to charm often shows his true colors. If he demeans other women, slut-shaming, belittling, and mocking them in front of you, consider it a red flag.
- He downplays your career achievements. In a healthy relationship, each partner supports the other. But if he’s not supporting you, specifically with your career, it could be because he doesn’t like the fact that you have a career at all. That’s not always the case, as there are several reasons why someone might not support their partner. But when combined with other behavior, it could be a sign of misogyny.
- He gets angry at women who reject him. “Nice guys” who suddenly become angry when they’re rejected are usually misogynistic. While it could just be deep insecurity and emotional immaturity, this anger often stems from the fact that they believe they’re entitled to go out with you. In other words, you shouldn’t get a say in whether or not you reject them. Misogynists also typically hate their exes and call them “crazy”, refusing to take any responsibility for the breakup. In their mind, women are inherently bad, so whatever went wrong must be their fault.
- He believes and perpetuates common stereotypes about women. There are several negative stereotypes out there regarding women that misogynistic men often perpetuate. Does he often talk about how all women are gold diggers? Liars? If she’s single then she must be a crazy cat lady? Rational people know not to generalize an entire category of people. Particularly if he often rants about how you can’t trust women because of these stereotypes, it could be a sign that he has a deeply ingrained dislike or hatred for them.
- He expects you to take on a traditional domestic role. If a woman chooses to become a housewife or stay-at-home mom, that’s her choice. It’s not anti-feminist to make your own choices. The issue arises when a man dictates what a woman does with her life based on his beliefs. A misogynist is very likely to expect you to take on a traditional role. He’ll see things like housework, grocery shopping, and childcare as women’s work. Often, these types of men won’t contribute to domestic duties. And if they do, they’ll feel entitled to praise.
- He discourages you from pursuing your dreams. A misogynistic man will usually try to discourage you from pursuing dreams outside the home. Whether they relate to your career or even a hobby, he’s likely to feel that they distract you from your domestic role.
- He judges all women based on their appearances. A common misogynistic belief that many people hold is that women are purely there for men to look at. Everything that they achieve and contribute comes second to how they look. Does he often comment on women’s appearances, putting them down if they don’t wear makeup or lose their baby weight? That’s a sign that he sees women, first and foremost, as there for his viewing pleasure. And if they don’t live up to his standards of beauty, they deserve to be mocked and insulted.
- He’s patronizing. Misogynistic men are often patronizing. They believe they are smarter, stronger, and more competent than women. So they talk down to women as though they’re not capable. If he constantly talks down to you and says things like, “I would explain it but you wouldn’t understand,” it’s a sign that he believes he’s smarter than you.
- He catcalls women. Catcalling is a form of sexual harassment. It’s a huge red flag if he whistles at women, makes sexualized comments to strangers, or harasses women in any way in public. Firstly, it reinforces that he believes women are there for his fun and pleasure. Secondly, it shows a complete lack of understanding about the dangers women face, and a willingness to contribute to them. It also proves that he doesn’t care how the woman he’s catcalling feels—only that he’s having fun. In many cases, men who catcall enjoy making women feel uncomfortable or unsafe and set out to take that power over them.
- He doesn’t take female professionals seriously. Finally, misogynists rarely take female professionals seriously. Again this comes back down to the belief that women are less competent than men. Whether it’s a female shop assistant or a female doctor, they might ask to be tended to by a man. No matter how good a job a woman does, a misogynist won’t acknowledge it or accept that women are indeed as capable as men.
