The Secret Fears Every Woman Has But Will Never Say Out Loud

The Secret Fears Every Woman Has But Will Never Say Out Loud ©iStock/Mucella

As much as we prefer to come off as calm, cool, and collected, we have our work cut out for us as women. In other words, it’s not easy being this amazing. Because that’s the case, we sometimes fall victim to our insecurities and fears, some to which we’ll never, ever admit. When you admit to something, it can make you look shallow, insane, or both, and no one wants that.

But still, fear exists, and there’s no escaping it, no matter how deep inside us we try to push it. So, here are 10 secret fears every woman has, even if they never say it out loud.

  1. Meeting a serial killer on Tinder. Whether it’s Tinder, OKCupid, or whatever other dating app of the day, there’s always the fear that the next guy you meet could be a serial killer. You just don’t want to say it out loud, because it can seem over-dramatic (even if there’s a chance it could happen).
  2. Dying alone and being devoured by her pet. Even a woman who loves being single and thinks marriage looks like hell on Earth is scared to die alone in her apartment. And then, of course, there’s the whole “not being found for weeks so her beloved pet has no choice but to eat her dead body to stay alive” part of things.
  3. Being too drunk to remember a condom during a one-night stand. Although condoms and one-night stands go together like peanut butter and jelly, sometimes crap happens. Sometimes the amount of whiskey that was consumed can make you think you used a condom, when you actually didn’t.
  4. Your very first wrinkle. In a society where actresses over 35 are suddenly old, it’s really hard not to mourn that very first wrinkle. I’d say the same goes for grey hair, but since grey hair is in style at the moment, it’s not such a tragedy that wrinkles still are.
  5. Gaining weight. Even in an era where body acceptance is all the rage (as it should be!) and we’re learning to love our bodies like never before, no matter their size, every woman fears weight gain. Sorry, but you know you do.
  6. Settling for an idiot. When you’re the last single one in her group of friends, your fear becomes settling for someone mediocre. You know, because of the fear of being alone, dying alone, then being eaten by your pet.
  7. Being the loser at her high school reunion. Because if there’s anything to be learned from Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, it’s that you really, really want to be cool when you face that pack of mean girls at your reunion.
  8. Reaching menopause. A drop in sex drive? A dry vagina? The real possibility that her uterus could dangle out of your vagina? No thanks.
  9. Having an ugly kid. You can tell me all you want that, if you should have kids, you’ll just be happy that they’re healthy and blah blah blah. But seriously, what woman hasn’t thought, “OMG, what if my kid is ugly?” In fact, I’ve had friends make me promise to tell them if they’re kid is ugly, knowing full well that they’ll have no idea because they’ll be blinded by love. Sadly, I have broken that promise a few times: “Oh! She’s so… cute!”
  10. Running out of orgasms. Although there’s no scientific basis for this concern whatsoever, we all fear it. I don’t know why, but we do.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.