10 Self-Defeating Lies Single Women Tell Themselves

10 Self-Defeating Lies Single Women Tell Themselves ©iStock/a-wrangler

You’re your own worst enemy, but it’s time to stop tearing yourself down and acting like you’re undeserving of happiness. If you keep lying to yourself about your self-worth, you’re never going to end up with the good guy that you deserve. That’s why you need to stop telling yourself these lies:

  1. He’s out of your league. If you refuse to walk up to your crush, because you assume he’d never feel the same way about you, how are you ever going to land a date with him? You need to think of yourself as hot stuff. Know that any guy would be lucky to call you his girlfriend.
  2. You deserve to be treated poorly. If you let a man talk down to you, then you’re going to end up settling for less than you deserve. Don’t let anyone push you around. If someone is rude to you, kick them out of your life. Hold out for someone special.
  3. Love isn’t real. If you think that monogamy isn’t natural, and that true love is a load of crap, then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. The first step to finding love is believing that it actually exists. Have an open heart.
  4. Single life is better. Sure, single life is great. Of course, being in a relationship is great, too. Don’t fool yourself into believing that you’d be happier alone than with a guy who’s perfect for you. If you find Mr. Right, go after him.
  5. You need to focus on work. Your job should come before your search for love. However, you probably aren’t too busy to make time for dating. Stop using your job as an excuse, because plenty of women balance their career and love life.
  6. You’re ugly. You’re not ugly. Even if you were, that wouldn’t change the fact that you deserve to be in a loving relationship. Looks aren’t everything. Of course, one day you’ll find a man who will think you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.
  7. You’d be a bad girlfriend. If you think you’d make a bad girlfriend, then you’re going to be hesitant to enter a relationship. That’s why you have to train your brain to think differently. Remind yourself that anyone would be lucky to have you, and you’ll start going after better men.
  8. You’ll just end up heartbroken. You can’t be pessimistic when it comes to love. If you think that a relationship is going to end before it begins, then you’re going to start off on the wrong foot with him. You don’t need to be optimistic. Just be realistic.
  9. All of the good men are taken. Come on, you know that this is ridiculous. There are plenty of good men out there that are single. You just need to sift through the bad ones in order to find them. It might take time, but you’ll eventually find the person meant for you.
  10. You don’t deserve love. You’re a beautiful, talented woman who deserves to be happy. Never tell yourself otherwise. Everyone deserves to be loved, especially you!
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.