There are some things that show you just how much your friends value your relationship, and a new guy in your friend’s life is definitely one of them. When I was single, I always tried to be fair to both my new boyfriend and my BFFs, and I expect the same fair treatment from my girlfriends. But when a friend changes attitude overnight, you have to ask yourself how much she really cares. Here are the things you shouldn’t put up with, no matter how happy you feel for her:
- She cancels your plans at the last minute. If she cancels your plans every time her boyfriend wants to do something, even on short notice, she obviously doesn’t respect you or herself. It also suggests that your friendship was never a real priority for her, but rather a way to pass her free time. Now that she has a boyfriend, you’re on the back burner.
- She only ever wants to hang out when plans with her boyfriend fall through. She acts like she misses you and just wants to hang out, but you later realize she only called you because her boyfriend canceled on her. WTF? Don’t make yourself available just because she never has time to see you and this is your one chance to hang. Friends who really care will find the time to be there for each other.
- She never texts or calls. Since she met him, you’re always the one to initiate communication and ask her to meet. When she replies, it can be hours or days after you texted her, and her replies are always a few laughing emojis or a “haha” or “totally.” No thanks!
- Whenever you’re together, all you talk about is her relationship. When you finally do meet her, you realize she just wants to vent about her boyfriend, so you spend the next two hours hearing all about the guy’s ex-girlfriend problems. She’s no longer interested in your life, so why does she deserve your time?
- You never do fun things together anymore. You always meet her early hours for a coffee or quick lunch — no more girls’ nights out or any type of nights out, actually — since they’re all reserved and you’ve been assigned the afternoon shift. Don’t give in to her ridiculous time limits — she isn’t married with kids yet! If she wanted to hang, she would.
- She’s suddenly condescending and critical of your single life. She’s been with someone for less than a month, but she’s already giving you a lecture about how single life is slowly killing you and how much more healthy relationships are. She suddenly feels more important than you and entitled to give you unsolicited advice about your life.
- You make girls’ night out plans and she turns up with her boyfriend. You’ve agreed you’re finally having a girls’ night out, but then she comes waltzing in with her boyfriend, acting like she accidentally bumped into you while being on a date. It’s clearly a passive-aggressive way to say she’s not interested in spending quality time with her friends anymore, so why should you be?
- She lets her new boyfriend in on your secrets. She’s shared your secrets and private stuff with him, and he now feels like he can judge you or give you his unsolicited advice about your love life — or he just looks at you with a condescending smirk on his face that makes you want to punch him. She has no right to disrespect your friendship by revealing your private stuff to someone who doesn’t give a damn about you.
- She never includes you in her new life.  She keeps telling you about all the fun she has with her boyfriend’s friends, yet she never asks you if you want to join in. Maybe she’s drawn a line between new and old friends, or she wants to keep you away from her boyfriend’s social circle. Whatever the reason, it’s not your problem, and you deserve much better than this.
- She lets her boyfriend’s negative opinions change her attitude towards you. Her boyfriend doesn’t like you, and after a while, every time she opens her mouth, she channels his negativity towards you. You aren’t her boyfriend’s BFF and you don’t need his BS in your life, so make this clear to her.
