Casual dating definitely isn’t for everyone. Perhaps you’ve been badly hurt by your ex-boyfriend, a recent flame badly bruised your self-confidence, or you’re simply not cut out for situationships with little to no attachment involved. Whatever the reason, there’s no sense in attempting something that’s just not right for you—here’s how you know it’s not.
You have low self-esteem and you’re looking for a distraction.
It might be the case that you’re not happy with yourself or your life in general at the moment. Things aren’t the way you want them to be so you’re looking for a quick fix, someone to boost your self-esteem and make you feel better about everything. This is dangerous territory to be in when you’re casual dating, as your relationship with the guy could go downhill and you could end up feeling even worse than before. Tread carefully.
You’re still hurting from your last dating experience.
The idea that you should get under someone new to get over an ex is BS. Sure, get under someone else if you’re truly ready for it and it’s what you want to do, but it could be detrimental to your emotional well-being if you end up developing feelings for the guy and he only cares about getting laid. If you know you’re not over your ex, the best thing to do is take a step back from guys and dating and let yourself heal first.
You have zero or limited trust in men.
Your previous negative experiences with guys tend to affect how you behave in future relationships. If your ex destroyed your ability to trust and you decide to try the whole casual dating thing, this is only going to add to your existing issues. After all, with casual dating, there’s no guarantee of a long-lasting relationship and you’re both under no obligation to be exclusive. He’d likely be dating and having sex with other ladies and you’d need to make sure you’re okay with that.
You get attached way too easily.
If there’s the slightest sign that a guy might like you romantically, do you tend to jump on it? If so, how do you expect to date casually if you tend to develop feelings for every guy that comes along? Casual dating is exactly that—casual. This means that there are no strings attached. If you’d struggle to keep things light and not let your feelings run away with you, you should steer clear of casual dating.
You need constant reassurance.
When you’re seeing a guy, you expect him to communicate with you regularly in the form of text messages, Snapchats, and Facebook comments. You need constant reassurance that he’s still into you, and he still wants to date you, otherwise, you start to feel like crap about yourself. With casual dating, some guys don’t bother at all with this stuff. I mean, why would they? They’re seeing other ladies and it’s hard to keep that up with multiple women. Where does this leave you? I’ll tell you—feeling extra crappy.
You just want to be loved.
This is a beautiful sentiment and one that many of us can relate to, but some guys don’t want commitment at a young age. In fact, some guys just want sex with as many women as possible. You need to be mindful of this fact and have your guard up if you’re going to venture into the turbulent world of casual dating.
You can’t handle rejection.
In the past, when you were rejected by a guy that you were only been seeing for a few weeks, you sworn off dating forever, spent multiple days at home in your PJs sobbing into a bottomless tub of ice-cream, and claimed that no guy would ever love you again because you’re ugly and dumb and basically the worst. If you spiral like this, there’s literally zero way you could cope with casual dating.
You’re emotionally complex.
You’ll also find casual dating a challenge if you feel and think about things very deeply compared to the average person. By this, I mean that you’re sensitive about your feelings and you overanalyze situations to the point where you start to annoy even yourself. Ladies like this tend to struggle with the surface-level emotions required to successfully be able to date casually. Protect your heart and don’t even go there.
The thought of getting hurt again terrifies you.
This is a tell-tale sign that you’re not ready to date at all, let alone date casually. You’re more likely to get hurt from casual dating than you are in any other type of arrangement, so perhaps you should sit this one out.
You’ve tried casual dating before and it stresses you out.
If you’ve never tried to date casually, then why not give it a go? You never fully know about something until you’ve tried it out. However, if you’ve already tried it at some point and it causes you more aggravation than enjoyment, perhaps just leave it for now. Instead, maybe take some time out of the dating game for yourself or wait until you find someone who really cares about you and let things happen organically. Either way, you need to be in a particular kind of mindset and emotionally strong enough to be able to navigate through the casual dating minefield. And remember, if it’s not for you, there’s absolutely no shame in that.
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